MAN IN THE BUFF STEALS BEER TRUCK

Santa Rosa—The nearly naked thief

clearly didn't have good taste in beer

stealing a Coors' beer truck like that

in broad daylight, before noon,

dressed only in boxers and sneakers.

Someone commented: It's the water—

and a lot more. Well, maybe not so much more...

If only it had been Duff beer, she said.

Man in the Buff heists Duff.

Now, if it was Pliny the Elder...

But then, he'd have to rethink the wardrobe,

American flag boxer shorts just won't do.

A toga, maybe. And sandals, not sneakers.

But you know how it goes—

Coors beer always comes out

the same way it goes in. Unadulterated.

The police apprehended the thief

cowering in the bushes.

Ya ever notice how no one

ever steals a Miller High Life truck?

Ya can't make this stuff up.

4/20/18 


Nearly naked man suspected of stealing Coors beer truck in Santa Rosa  

this one could pass as my report poem for 4/14, but I hadn't yet seen the prompts.