Showing posts with label collage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label collage. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 25, 2023

In the orchard


The inside of the fig, a crimson surprise with seeds like inverted thistles. Why does the fig tree wait so long to bear fruit, what does it dream of during those decades of silence? Is it because it blooms inside out?

We rejoice when the Banyan tree of Lahaina, a relative of the fig, sprouts new leaves after the fire, the roots run deep, despite being at sea level. Resurrection after the fire. Drinking the sea. Our mother.

We wait on the shore, the murmur and surcease of waves reminding us that everything is repeated.

That everything is repeated.

The way the citrus trees bloom despite the drought, gives me hope. Meyer lemon blossoms, like prom corsages of gardenias set fruit, small blessings to see us through the duration. The lonely sun rests on the horizon and waits for night to fall, ushers in an endless carpet of stars. The deer nip off the new buds of the Matilija poppy, despite its narcotic lethe.

I am enamored by the way the tomato resists the knife, so like our own skin, it too bleeds onto the plate, waiting for oil to drizzle a golden storm across its slices.

Love’s winged kind winter‘s naked trees, flashes of sunlight as the red leaves of the pear tree riding the wind, the orchard tucks in, waiting for spring. 

I remember listening for those nights when the roses followed the orb light, a siren call as we turned towards darkness, the end of summer when the mold begins to spread across the leaves of squash, hollyhocks and tomato, nipping, those sterile flowers in the bud, unseasonable flowers, unformed fruit. 

The tomato imagining life upside down. Once my uncle brought us a hanging planter tomatoes growing up from the bottom of the pot, as if it could right of the world’s wrongs.

The last time I began to write from memory, it robbed me of voice. Such saboteurs of DNA. What we inherit, remnants of our past, a gateway and a base reset. Why we write.

Wednesday, September 6, 2023

THE WAY BACK


Finding the way back is never easy. 
Those undefined obstacles
the divide of the self from the other, 
becoming monologue, or is it soliloquy? 
All those things we’ve left unsaid, 
when you wake up in the middle of the night, 
and wished you had phrased it better. 
Those waves tucking into the shore of sleep, 
are packed with remorse and regret. 
Inexplicably at 3 AM, you remember 
how you tortured the poor sensitive plant 
until it died of exhaustion, 
watching its leaves rise and fall. 
And what about the kitten’s whiskers?
So what if you were six, you knew better.
There were were other transgressions.
The moon caught in the web of powerlines, 
is a full note held on a celestial scale. 
An old worry, like those lost trailheads of memory,
a tarantella of dead leaves, small layers of the past. 
Whatever we cannot fix comes back to haunt us.

Wednesday, August 16, 2023

UNSEASONABLE RAIN


The pale summer sky is cloaked 
with an unseasonable beauty of thunderclouds, 
ladened with promises of lightning and wildfire.
We hold our breath, pack our go-bags, and hope for rain.
The Perseids whisper of distant light in the northern quadrant. 

I imagine angels imposed on the levity of the sky, 
and think of the inevitable promise of the grave, 
how the pretenders and believers alike 
eventually succumb to that final darkness.
Don’t they know the story is a run-on life sentence?

8/16/23

Wednesday, August 9, 2023

BRÓN TROGAIN, SUMMER’S END


Fading August light, 
the clattering of bay leaves. 
A sharpness in the air.
These are the seeds of memory, 
the mountains painted blue,
the hayfields of stored sunlight.
The waning moon sings of despair, 
and the wild iris by the side of the road
slumbers toward winter darkness.
The sky shrugs its shoulders,
covered in a shawl of clouds.
The thunder answers
with an empty promise 
of late summer rain.

8/9/23

Wednesday, August 2, 2023

RIPTIDE


Who said to always swim toward the outsider?
I was far from shore, the waves stacked up,
gnawed the coastline, a storm far out to sea,
an offshore trench fed the undertow.

I slid down each trough to meet the next wave.
And so on. A glimpse of the beach, a silver,
as I rode each crest. Was I mammal or fish?
I might drown this far from shore.

The lifeguard station was a flyspeck,
I was a whitecap, a seagull on the waves.
I knew I could only save myself.
I could disappear forever in this vast sea.

How long before she missed me? 
That mother sleeping off the night.
I body-surfed in, but it was a long way to land.
I was learning to rescue myself. Again.

Gasping, I lay face down in the warm sand,
numb from the icy embrace of the sea. 
I was 10.

8/2/23. This is a revamp of part 2 of Lúnasa. I suddenly realized it was two poems.

Wednesday, July 12, 2023

THE ANTHROPOCENE AGE

THE ANTHROPOCENE AGE

So much language is lost in the labyrinth of the throat. 
The face you see in sleep, iridescent in the air 
like the memoirs of ghosts at a banquet, 
recording the remembered past. But your face 
is a map of sorrow packed in a carry-on suitcase. 

Did the mouth lead you too far astray? 
We are all drinking from the same ancestral river, 
dissipating the dream, waiting to be named. 
The indigenous women of the desert held stones 
at the back of the throat to belay their thirst. 

The poetry of negligence lays down its burden at the gates 
of the old cathedral, prays for divine intercession. 
I swallowed small stones and tried to hide 
the obligatory ephemera of my mind from everyone. 
Who shattered the 4th wall, a 2-way mirror staring into the sun?

What is riding whitewater on the river of memory? 
What about the storyline, the cast of characters? 
Who will be last one standing with one foot in the void? 
The clock is hungry but the numbers of darkness 
are always too late to see the the precipice or the void.

We are counting down the days and the nights 
marching towards the harvest of death. 
Solar flares reach into the darkness 
disabling all the motherboards. The alpha 
and the omega of the Anthropocene Age. 

7/12/23 Write On! with Susie Terence (take two).

Sunday, April 9, 2023

THE BEGINNING OF TRUTH


There is always an infinite supply of uncertainty and fear, 
which is far easier to mine than following your dreams. 
I took instructions from the sky to talk less,
not allowing love in. I was accustomed to abandonment, 
and I continued on, in love with my own darkness,
until the path disappeared. No lantern to light the way.
I convinced myself that the shining beauty pouring in
was merely an algorithm of the soul. I didn’t know 
my silence too was a form of armor, shielding me
from myself, that celestial light shining upon us, 
was bearing witness, only I couldn’t see 
that armor is no longer needed to let amor in.
This is where the truth begins to let the light in.

4/9/23

Tuesday, August 23, 2022

PILGRIMAGE

—Collage from Mary Oliver poems, The Journey, and Wild Geese. 

In your despair, did you crawl on bended knee, 
seeking salvation in distant meadows?
Did you circle the sacred peak three times?

Meanwhile, the wild geese seek true north, 
calling out for their homeland in the sky. 
Sometimes we forget that the journey 

is both the answer—and the question. 
As I mend the ends of my life, stiff fingers 
seek the melancholy dreams of leaves 

among the detritus of fallen branches. 
While the stars burn, supernovas waken, 
saving more lives other than just mine. 

There is no one way to tell a story.
The power of the word made real.
Listen to the wild geese stitching the lake

with their wings. It is a quilt to keep us safe. 
No matter which way the wind blows,
the path leads ever onward,

it knots the lake into a gossamer shawl 
made of twilight and the lost skeins of sunset 
while the geese circle, and settle in, 
to converse about the day’s progress.

8/23, Writing through trauma workshop with Carolyn Holbrook. Soul Bone Literary Festival, MIU, Zoom event

Wednesday, August 5, 2020

Personification poems with Blake More Tomatoes, Carrots & a collage




WHAT THE TOMATOES SAID

We arrived in black bags filled with loam
and waited for them to come.
We had no idea of our destiny,
or what was to become of us.
We waited along the fence
in haphazard formation.
The sun rose to its zenith, and we wilted,
uprooted from the coolness of the garden,
we were awaiting adoption,
not knowing who would claim us,
or where we were going.

She found deep pots for us and gave us water.
After we recovered from the shock,
we began to grow, reaching for the sun.
She gave us gilded cages
where we could rest our heavy arms.
And we leaned in conversationally,
we blossomed, and then we fruited with gravitas.
At first, we were shy green orbs that swelled,
and then we doubled in size
with each new watering
until we were constellations,
or perhaps even planets.

And then we reached for the sun
and we became the fire of sunset.
We waiting for the cool green depths 
of salad bowls rubbed with garlic 
and dressed with olive oil. We glowed 
like the glistening blood of rubies.
Summer's gift to those huddled 
around their meager tables
waiting out the siege.

8/5/20

THE CARROT SPEAKS

The carrot speaks of the night,
it speaks of the stars
glistening in the gloaming.
Once it was the color of darkness
but then it saw the sun for the first time
and the shape of its dreams
began to change to include the light.
And then it glowed with the tendrils
of the summer sun.

Monday, April 11, 2016

SNOW IN ADDIS ABABA

SNOW IN ADDIS ABABA

Today a rare snow fell on Addis Ababa,
catching everyone by surprise.
Though the citystate is at 7,500 feet
it's also near the equator, this sub-tropical
region never drops below freezing.
Addis Ababa means the field of new flowers.
The cradle of mankind, Mankind has lived there
since the beginning of time. First hominid Lucy's home.
A young man muses: it seems like Ethiopia
is becoming closer to the sky, you know,
like Canada. You know what I mean.
Closer to the North Pole. Trading places.
A man grumbles: it used to happen every rainy season.
Another nitpicks it's not snow! Its hail, frozen rain,
you don’t want to get caught under that rain.
It’s like little stones falling from the sky!
And he compares it to the wrath of God.
Sky diamonds. What's this world coming to?
But I guess the weather is a bit like theft,
an adulterous sky pummeling what's left of spring
in a parched land.

4/11/2016
from a news report

Friday, November 26, 2004

FOUND POETRY: VICODAN

thought weather trouble
blue house stand fast
last luck lord engaged
wife, she remained
respect finished
they point
surely part class drop
likely raised offer
fancy share afterwards
stayed period

Saturday, April 5, 2003

POSTCARD FROM IRAQ



4/5 Baghdad: Artillery hissed overhead
slammed into wheatfields,
spewing shrapnel into the air.
You could hear debris wheeze
whirling in the sky like lawnmower blades.
Indiscriminate death and the bitter smell 
of chordite filled the air.
Kurdish fighters stood amid a field of daisies
& poppies glowing scarlet as drops of blood.
The exodus began before dawn. 
Anything to escape the city.
Desperate, unsettled scenes: 
no electricity, no water, no fuel.
After a night spent in darkness,
they were bumper to bumper, many in tears.
In the desert, water is more precious than oil, 
than blood.

4/5/03


Sunday, February 14, 1999

Valentine orphans (art) (no date)

Valentine orphans (art) (no date)





1998?







In an attempt to ameliorate what I do have scanned, or have photos of, I'm in the process of adding art to my blog, posting most work in a given year on Dec 1 of that year, and valentines, on VD!

I'm trying to figure out when I did the tulip pastel, as it has a floppy disk in it! I'm guessing 95-97. Ditto with the pastel self-portrait. I was feeling a bit blue.... I know where it was drawn, in Forestville, which means it's probably from before 1997.


LOL I caught my characteristic right eye half-lidded droop. It's a lazy little bastard, always shirking its duty, I finally resorted to extensive eye tests at UC Berkeley, and discovered it's more of a brain thing....which means I have to wear glasses to correct it...circular file.



I had won a massive double-decker Derwent pastel color pencil set from Riley Street and was test-driving the pencils,  getting the hang of the medium. The tulips was my first ever pastel on black paper, and this is my 2nd attempt to see what all the fuss was about with pencil pastels. Ultimately they're too refined for my taste (but good for adding detail), I like a more painterly approach. Messy, chaotic, really get into it. After, all I used to eat my mother's white paint, expecting it to be vanilla ice cream.


I'm uncovering a lot of old scanned art photos as I add bits to fill out my blog. Wish I had dated it.These pieces have me stymied as to date.


2/14/2017

Thursday, January 1, 1998

Fur Heart Valentine for Art form the Heart (art)


Watercolor and collage. I painted two images of hearts onto heavy morilla board then I sliced them into strips (one vertical, one horizontal) and then painstakingly wove them together. I did a series of woven paintings after a trip to Guatemala in the mid -1980s. Most are gone, sold to strangers at the annual Art form the Heart art auction fundraiser at Sonoma State University. I made a color xerox of this one. so, it's a collograph of a painted collage.
I lined the two woven heart pockets with rabbit fur. There are candy hearts and ribbons and and even a slender pencil. You never know what people will buy at the auction... One pieces that I submitted I thought no one would buy, there were fierce bidding wars on it. Other pieces that I thought would appeal, no one wanted. This little jezebel was left behind. I guess whimsical fur lined hearts didn't appeal.  January, 1998? or 1988?

Tuesday, May 31, 1994

PASS AROUND POEM

PASS AROUND POEM

I missed both eclipses of the sun and moon
but unwittingly wore my eclipse tee shirt anyway
the night the moon hung like a light bulb over the Golden Gate.
On the way home, we looked for the moon, found none.
I blamed the pattern of trees and ridges.
The Nigerians were unused to the vagaries of this coast.
Ghosts of ships, the interior of stone sleeping beneath the waves.
I cannot find the way to the end of my heart.
Who finds the way back home for the heart
knows the secrets of life.
He knows the wind will be jealous
and the willows will not forgive him.
He prefers the sound of rain
to the beating heart.
I am watching the stars crawl across the horizon.
To find the way, to lose it, and to find it again.
There are no simple answers
other than the constancy of the moon, the stars, this song.
The soft notes escape the melody
lingers in the black keys.
Feeding the piano he came to understand
the arms of the saguaro embrace the air.
Why did he call me to explain
why he beat her that night in Baja?
The sky considers the blueness of itself,
decides upon the word azul,
becomes water to thirst
because the clouds know how to dance in the sky
like a thought in hot water.
The water needed no directions from the mountains.
It knew the patterns of the sea, the paths to the sea,
dreaming it was a violet in search of the past.

5/31/94
I extracted my lines from several poems we passed around and each wrote two lines to, then folded the paper so we couldn't see the first line—4 authors. Makes you stretch.

Sunday, May 8, 1994

CODA: POSTLUDE: ELEMENTAL PORTRAITS

ELEMENTAL PORTRAITS
    —from musical compositions by Kirk Whipple

POSTLUDE:
She is there to lift us out of obscureness.

Portraits of sunset,
ocean cloudscapes dreaming
a dressage of neon rain,
a party in the other room
the nightingale singing,
a steady flame,
the two of us at sunrise.

walking in the starry clusters of sand
and the burden becomes another
Silencio de negra.

grace notes outside the key edible.
the patterns on a lake,

we forget the paths.
what we’ve lost touch of.
We have nothing but ourselves
In our circuituous wanderings
we carry the burden of freedom forward.
because she is the light to guide us,
teaching us to begin again.

Arpeggios of water waltz
cusp lean into the wind
trust it to hold you
crisp bells before the storm
the hills, come to the sea, wave/rocks flight of birds across snow
clear message before the storm
the breath to sing
sighting land like Columbus
the clue of birds on the horizon
riding out the tune cresting each wave.
cross-rhythms like a shiver of ear candy.

Return to first field
stepping up each measured step
As this rhythm bubbles up
the parched earth

Those things deep inside
step up, fall back, begin again.

Chill of spine, chickenskin
syncopation of the pianists,
short burst rearranges.
the pulse finding us deep inside
he's growing surer but also more faint
as the path becomes clear
deep beginnings the end of stuttering colors,

a free beginning, creating the concept of darkness, of sound
Dark to light/lyrical matter-of factly, 
no big swell or crescendo like in the movies.

(What would a patriot dream of,
or is she a patriot’s dream dreaming a person?)

I am the endless stranger inside the depths of night.

Thursday, May 5, 1994

COLLAGE POEM AFTER HEARING PAUL BOWLES’ LETTERS

COLLAGE POEM AFTER HEARING PAUL BOWLES’ LETTERS
                            —Tangiers, 1931

He said:
Below our life, all is water.
I was an ugly baby, an abnormal child
writing a 2-page story at the age of two.
I was blue, soft at the corners of the mouth. 

When I was eight I wrote an opera.
But there’s got to be a base.
Flip a coin. Heads: run off to Paris.
Become a writer. Tails: do myself in.
The parrot looks at me suspiciously
whenever I type.

He spoke wistfully of the time of his father—
when they kept tame gazelles in the room.
Drank thick dark coffee
on the bougainvillea-inflamed terrace.
There is no greater crime
than the excitement of envy,
said Lao Tsu.

There are no tourists anymore.
The proper length of time
to stay in a hotel is one night,
the proper length of time
to stay in a city is one day. 

Stay in a different quarter each time.
Always walk fast.
Here I shall live
until the eucalyptus leaves learn to fall
in a city whiter than Jesus’s soul.

Voices. Something is singing at night.
I’m going away to death’s black arms.
Below our life, all is water.
There’s got to be a base.
The radio, like a terminal moraine. 

Aloneness. The veil. This is the base.
How fast is the beating heart?
Here, nothing, no Petrushka. No base.
No thoughts, only tones.
The call of the muzzeim.
And the sheltering sky.

5/5/94 

Thursday, March 18, 1993

COLLAGE POEM, RAIN


COLLAGE POEM, RAIN

Sunlight pierces my eye
clouds slide off the backs of mountains
dreams take wing and circle our thoughts
like vultures in late summer—
Camphor, cedar chips
a hope chest of moths
white nights
the approaching solstice.
Big Dipper, full of rain
holds the universe
across angry day
with no plan at all.
The drought, broken like a bowl,
spills its bounty on the earth—
all this sadness falling from stars.

3/18/93
1st draf

Thursday, March 5, 1992

COLLAGE POEM

COLLAGE POEM

Blossoms under a full moon,
stone hard; thunder comes crawling
across the sound barrier of clouds
as if its companion light
were trapped in deep summer,
dreams remembering the past
as blue as the thoughts of fish
waiting to be water, becoming water,
telling me of separation and of darkness.
The ocean tides pull at my heart,
shimmering storm waiting to be air,
becoming the air.

3/5/1992

Thursday, August 1, 1991

DREAM VESSELS —from collages by Marsha Connell, master file

I found my notes for the Dream Vessels 1 through 11 (possibly through 15 but I have no notes) in the back of my journal, they were written during the first part of August, 1991. But they're not dated. The last date I could’ve written them was August 18 before the Soviet coup. Since I didn’t meet up with Marsha often, many of the poems were delayed because I needed to weave her story in as well. So that held me back. The poems that say First Draft are my freewrites, sans Marsha's backstory. I frewrote on the pieces first without knowing what her thoughts were. Then I interviewed her and wove the two stories together, if I could. No wonder I didn’t date them. It didn’t make sense at the time. So I am moving them all to the beginning of August as it is the closest creation date I can find. As to the later ones, it's still a mystery. I've parked them all in June 1992, but they could've been written in 1993 as well. Eventually, as I comb journals, I will find the rest of them. I do know that I switched over to a new DV journal after # 15, because I was losing track. But it too is incomplete. MIA # 16, 17, 18; 29. And it looks like I lost a couple that were efiles, esp. # 17 Grandpa Sam's Farm, the file was empty, and I know I wrote a poem for it, and #29 Delta too.

DREAM VESSELS # 1:  MAYIM
       —from a collage by Marsha Connell 

Is she asleep or dead—
this woman of the landscape?
The volcano goddess Pele's hair across her face—
Epicanthal fold lost in the darkness of dreams.
Sea stacks offshore, a reminder of home,
of the paintings lost, a multitude of King Lears
waiting in the wings at sunset,
the sky, a lid on the primordial soup
manifesting itself as rock.
Amphorae from another inland sea,
the cradle of civilization, overturned.
Gelatinous sea creatures thrown onto desert sands.
The earth is on fire, we cannot quench
the burning oil wells.

Maya, mayim, why are you sleeping?
She is a ghost. She is Ophelia.
Maya, teacher of the art of pillow talk.
Was it she, who, after a lover rejected her—
the mastectomy too graphic—
gave him an exquisite tea bowl
filled with the dry husks of bees?
Or some image I read from a novel?
She was the dancer who could no longer dance
because her bones melted. To survive during WWII,
she ate from Tokyo garbage cans. Rickets…
The soldier took her home to New York
where she was the actress typecast again
and again in Teahouse of the August Moon;
the mirror confirmed her roots.
It was then she began to paint her story.
Her ancestors were artists:
Grandfather Cezanne, Uncle Picasso—

Winter depressions came with the absence of light.
Searching for Hawaii—
the details of her death go unrecorded.
What genjii rise from these jars?
There is the equation of sunset to be considered:
the sun itself as if viewed through smoke.
We all live on fragile islands;
the sea stacks—old men
hunkering down to outwait the night.
Do those in power ever dream?
Or are we empty vessels waiting
to be filled with nightmare oil
purged from the sandy bowels of the earth?

There are more questions than answers.
I cannot say the same for basalt,
the earth's essence (and the moon's),
continually rising skyward.
I keep thinking of Ran,
Kurosawa's version of King Lear.
Intrigues of lust and power
felling the ruling families,
devastating the human potential.

Ethics. Our leaders are not Samurai. In Japan
even warrior thieves had a code of honor to uphold.
They say the plumes over Kuwait are visible from space.
The feathered serpent of the desert climbs
the holy ladder of smoke only to find darkness again.
They say in the desert, even the stones can speak.
What of the woman who is mute alabaster,
and the memory of water,
the mother ocean
who can no longer cradle her;
she is trapped within her cells.
The honor of the sky,
the veil over water,
Maya mayim.

Nothing but smoke and ash.
Asleep under the final Noh Mask.

Spring 1991 

NOTE the mastectomy too graphic—
gave him an exquisite tea bowl
filled with the dry husks of bees?  
this was from a Bob Hass, a workshop in the Bahamas in 1981, it later turned up in a prose poem of his, "Human Wishes."
1993 Dream Vessels, Marsha Connell
 
1992 Another version of this poem appeared in  Sacred River
and Chaminade Literary Review 



DREAM VESSELS # 2:   Earth Palette
              from a collage by Marsha Connell

Somewhere in Central America
blue shutters closed against the blue wall,
the indigo sky in the midst of war.
Guarding against the evil eye, Babylonians,
and later, the Arabs painted beads blue.
This is why blue beads dangle from the mirrors of busses,
donkey's halters, and women's necks on both continents.
The blue-eyed language of a Mestizo child—
Cortés, Cabrillo, Pizarro, & Las Malinches of the world
who suffered at the hands of love.
All we have to measure entire civilizations
is blue tile from Inanna's ancient city,
vessels filled with golden beads, and arabesques—
images in the shape of God. Names of stars.

The midday sun seeks refuge at the base of shutters.
Behind closed doors a Yemenite bride is sleeping.
Soon she'll assemble herself in the form of desert crystals.
Gathering the sun in her robes she turns
to catch the light, all she sees is ultraviolet.
Reduced to silica, she is pure transparency.
The calligraphy of wheat fields after scything
combines arranged in bezier curves,
visible only to the birds who are not bound to this land.
Cuneiform on clay tablets: writing began when the silos
and graineries were overfull, before the desert was at hand.

Times of plenty, and of need. A blue-eyed daughter in Israel,
far from home. Who is her spirit guide? the mother asks.
A map of civilization is scattered in that wheat.
On the edge of the steppes, horsemen wait
against the sky for someone to tresspass:
they say, one must die to become a man,
to take one's place in the community.
After a good harvest of wheat, of bodies—
it's all the same in the end. On any of the continents
nature doesn't distinguish between blood and chaff,
or invent abstractions about the shape and color of space.
Where is the juncture where the desert shrub antlers itself
against the brooding sky? Teased into patterns by the wind,
it yields in random mathematical increments.
How then, to explain away those missiles,
more beautiful than the stars?

Spring 1991 
1994 Kalliope, First Prize, Sue Saniel Elkind Poetry Prize



DREAM VESSELS # 3: Night Goddess
      from a collage by Marsha Connell

The hawk Horus landed here first, or at least that's what is said.
Seated on funerary divans, the rulers of the Upper and Lower kingdoms
wear the sun of Horus; the bull between the su
and the root hunger of cobras, rays of Ra. Amun.
The sun in gold cartouches immortalized on temple walls.

Nefertiti sleeps, her profile, a landscape.


What is Egypt but an fertile dream of Africa?

The Fellahim, tillers of black earth.



Did worry beads first appear when the two kingdoms

were united in marriage and death?
Plenty of sand in Egypt; who first thought to melt sand
into faence? Tin from Welsh mines took cooperation, not war.
Another ridge on the ribbon road. Ivory and beads,
as if coral wept from all the blood spilled.
In the presence of so much stone, the rider
on a white horse is but a small afterthought.

Moving through worlds, searching for a sense of place,
we disturb what's taken out of context: millions of potshards
from the pilgrims who fed the gods milleniums on end.
The sun's rays fracture and separate on the lintel
the way a child's drawing depicts the sun with rays—
all curved and geometric at the same time.

Where is the white sand island rising from the sea of chaos?
The reed shrine holding the image of the hawk?
Why are all the women asleep with their unadorned profiles
to the sky? Where is Isis?
Here, there is no personal story to lean on.
Juxtaposed against two worlds,
our modern debris is seeking home.

On hands and feet, the goddess of the night, 
Nut, has stretched her body across the sky.
Nefertiti's Nubian ear, a dark shell
in the wrinkled folds at sunset.
Anubis, God of the Dead, seeks New World Order.

Spring 91 & 92


DREAM VESSELS # 4:     Witnesses
from a Gulf War collage by Marsha Connell
   The women soldiers will go first.
            —Marsha Connell, dream fragment
   The skies over Bagdhad have been illuminated.
            —Bernard Shaw, CNN

She is a woman veiled. Roses dangle from stalks of lightning
against a blood-red sky, a tree of strange knowledge.
In a dream she was asked to witness war games.
Sometimes life is like that—the artist observing
simultaneous layers of time. Mediators in occupied territories:
A child in a pink dress watches reflections in the water.
A woman shakes darkness from the folds of her robe.
Laser-guided missiles on the banks of the Tigris. Confluence.

The idea of a key, a kite, and a storm unleashed itself
from the sky to illumine the night. Tender filaments,
fragile blossoms of light burning from the coil.
But now, the ultimate burst which spawned the Age of Light
yields roses of another kind. At Pearl Harbor
she saw Japanese men crying as they struggled to understand,
because so much was hidden from them.
They learned for themselves what happened
from the things which did not survive.
The last of the Hibakusha, nearly all gone now.
She has more questions than answers, keeps looking
for hope, but finds only compelling darkness.
That child born during the Age of Light
holds onto a shadow woman of the desert,
the hijab hides her from prying eyes
of the 20th century, but cannot shield her from it.
The vase on a pedestal—a ballet dancer,
refined white gloves of ghosts,
the peculiar weight of roses.
Carrying dead grandmothers into marriage,
we were all young once, didn't notice the paradigm
between a love of nature, and dominion over the weakest.
What of the child who will inherit the dowry of the sky:
the seductive beauty of a mushrooming cloud, incandescent roses,
the breathing of some unnamed fear in a dark room
where we can't find the switch in time.
Does she not see the lights of the city,
minute grains beneath her feet?

Spring 1991

1993 Dream Vessels, Marsha Connell


DREAM VESSELS # 5:      Shards of Destruction
            from a collage by Marsha Connell

Twilight comes ponderously of age in the tropics.
Birds gather to watch the jewels on the shores
of Waikiki glisten with that peculiar illusion of light
when the blurring of headlights becomes a serpent
winding along Ala Moana Drive. Streets converge in an X.
A multitude of shoes come to mind; Imelda's maybe—
Kept in her exhiled husband’s air-conditioned masoleum
in the Valley of the Temples, where he waits for a political thaw.
Above the white void, it is equally difficult to hide,
or to find one's way to the other side of the question.
Should it be so strange to see skyscrapers rise
from the curved smile of pots, or lipstick crosses
lodged   between fixed systems of thought?
Blue macaws witness iridescent missiles
shove the horizon against the edge of the rainforest;
they wear broken shards for cloaks of mourning.
The household of the earth torn open,
labia pierced by the jeweled cities;
the rapists asking if she enjoyed it.
What's the use of asking those kinds of questions
when even the birds lean away from each other?
A bamboo torii gate with enough sense to grow
out of the confines of the sky cannot close the hole.
Broken vessels cut just as well as shrapnel.
It's only the context of violence which is different.
The boats in their berths, coffins of light
crusade against the darkness of the sea.

Summer 91 & 92
1992 Chaminade Review


DREAM VESSELS # 6:    Cellist
     from a collage by Marsha Connell
     War is a symphony of destruction
      orchestrated by few & paid for by many.
                    —anon.

In the gnarled bark of white pines,
an angel is hidden. Once a primordial sea
covered Owen's Valley. Sometimes
when the light is just right,
if you don't quite look, angels lean out
as if the tree were the prow of a ship
launched on the crest of the White Mountains.
We've sailed to the New World and taken the moon hostage.
Who spilled the moon? Who will drink to it, or mend its shell?
Annularity at sunset. Light knows its own source.
An eclipse swallowed the moon burning from within.
The faceless musician in a trenchcoat holds the cello—
concealed behind the saturnine curves of resonant wood.
Who gets to be the cellist in the next incarnation?
Or the cat? Where is the orchestra?
Who's left to interpret the dreams of 1644? Or now?
Morphos is asleep. A netted fish for Medusa's hair.
The moon is made of basalt like the sea floor.
More dead than alive, the tree hangs onto dreams,
hangs onto life by a thin Cambrian cord,
umbilicus to earth; its roots—archaic seeds
that sprouted before the Bible was proscribed.
Shadows of branches finger the air,
ply the wind, fretting the traces
for an ancient symphony of light.

Summer 91/92


DREAM VESSELS # 7:  Grandmothers
          from a collage by Marsha Connell

From a turbulent sea filled with icebergs,
where immigrants waited to enter the promised land,
blind and crowned with thorns, Liberty rises.
Or is she drowning, sinking beneath the waves?
In a crepuscular haze where nothing is clearly defined,
not even the edges of the sky, industrial scrubbers
breathe warm clouds into the frigid air.

Towels and aprons, domestic prayer flags;
a grandmother hangs out clothes to dry, touches the mezuzah.
In a locked cabinet, whiskered koi frozen on a ginger jar—
The memory of ancient fish, venerable as the sun.
The small child wants to touch them and wonders
if they still dream of being fish—or have they forgotten how.

Where are all the grandmothers?
How to explain to the children free carbon
cannot escape through the holes in the ozone layer.
A slow polar Armageddon ripens under greenhouse skies.
The seas will rise, the cities will flood.
No time to worry about the trees.

Though everything is cyclical, we can't see into the next one.
Both enemies shrouded under the same veil of history—
Liberty ages, ice melts into the sea.
Her eyes seem to say this too shall pass.
Prayer flags continue to do a brisk trade with the wind.


DREAM VESSEL # 8 MASADA
      from Gulf War Collages by Marsha Connell
Beneath a bandage of snow the stones of Masada—

wounded mathematics address a long mountainous road.

Am I dreaming a mirage of islands on the horizon?

Why not sooty chimney stacks or columns of faith?

Fluted pillars lintel the sunset. Icons of the past take flight.

I struggle with the mechanics of closed systems.
In the collage, a virginal doll fell from a brooding sky.
Names of religion, of stars. Of missiles. The sixth pillar.
From Tel Aviv, photos of the artist’s daughter in a gas mask;
an “I am” escapes on the breath of the god of collateral damage.
I thought of Georgia O'Keeffe in the desert painting the secrets
of flowers in the curved throat of mountains.
This is my body said the doll as she orbited industrial skies,
the moon is chasing the earth's darkness. This is my blood.
When the cities were bombed, I dreamed of skiing on sand.
Who told me to ski the fall line with harmonic determination?
I traverse a slope too steep to bear the weight of the world
in the direction of declination. A leap of faith.
Sand and snow are one thing, but time stutters
and slips like old movies as we watch celluloid fires on CNN.
They say life passes before the eyes of those resurrected from death.
In those last infinite seconds, what images did the mind choose to view?
Drink from the body of memory, the world is a narrow bridge.
The mountains, stubbled with 6 O'clock shadow.
If we make it out of this one, it'll be a close shave,
no matter what icons we choose to salvage or bury.

Summer 1991/9/2001


DREAM VESSEL # 10   COVENANT

If a child walks on Jerusalem's walls.
should a rainbow appear?
While in the old Jewish cemetery
a raven's wing reaches upward.
Among the stones inscribed in Hebrew
the flute player and the golden cross of the sun at T'sanque
Across from the graveyard, windows of housesóten of them
like so many eyes or commandments,
I'd swear it was Russia, 1910.
But what is the flute player doing here
resurrecting the dead.
He is the Anasazi god of fertility, his penis a flute.
He is the hunchback, the bringer of music
growing among the graves, small blue flowers, vines.
The cornices of graves like gabled roofs
all crooked, like teeth.
The child looks back over his shoulder
as he takes his morning stroll to the citadel to the dome.
A child walks on Jerusalem's walls.
This is the line that divides nations, peoples.
His shadow cast into the courtyard of the wailing wall, leviathan.
He is strutting, a soldier in the making.
Participants, celebrants the size of ants.
A child walks on Jerusalem's walls; is he Arab or Jew? some will ask.
He is a child looking back through the four arches, 
portal at the top of the steps leading to the citadel.
He is walking away, looking back to a distant time
when the only conceivable answer was yes
I dreamed I was in the courtyard, 
I was asked to chose between three religions: 
the Christian I knew, Moslem scared me, 
I went to the Jewish temple. I chose the oldest, 
but the choice was not mine.



DREAM VESSELS # 11 Shards of Creation   
DRAFT
 From a collage by Marsha Connell
War, at least, has become the human condition.
       —William Styron

The sky is a Sistine chapel draped over the holy city at dawn;
the dome a lesser eye of the sun.
Writing on clay pots, images of the sun and zigzags
could be the rain, mountains or temples.
City of clay rising from the desert
God touches Adam, filling him with inspiration, breathing into him
and like the effigies we once were made of clay it is said
We write ourselves onto clay tablets while the angels looked on
we would prove to be trouble. They were right.
Adam is a reclining colossus on the green hills behind the city
God's balcony is overcrowded
perhaps this is why he is reaching out to Adam
It's a race, theyíre passing the baton, the invisible wand
but Adam is lying down on the job, naked and forthright
while God is clothed. original Sin?
He will take that back where it will lie on the pillows of Eve.
She will carry it forth, creating the races of Mankind
but the mother ship too is crowded.
The city wallsócells both protecting and isolating the nest egg.
The maleness of this religion cannot be denied.
Where are the women, the femininity?
Even the liongates are male, the angels, the cherubsóall male.
The sepulcher, by right, should be femaleó
like Queen bees, ants and termitesóthis is the pattern of nature.
In that gesture of God's to Adam—like gentle apes reaching
through the bars of a cage to touch a beloved companion,
God and Adam are cellmates both in prison;
who made the walls? surely not the women.
Perhaps God and Adam fell in love.
After all, God made Adam in his own likeness
or so it is written. And like Narcissus, God saw
his own reflection in the pools of Adam's eyes
and could not bear to be parted from himself.
Maybe the angels are really jealous
wanting something of God for themselves but this is blasphemy.
Blastopore; I will take that risk cursing the king
using God's nameórisking death by stoning.
Blas blas seed sprout  beginning in the beginning was the logos
blas + evil  blasto sprout seed bad polemy = speech sprouting speech
but there is a war going on in the Gulf.
Metaphors Desert Sand, Desert Storm, Desert Shield.
A victorious warrior returning from battle
is advised to dress for mourning (tao te ching)
We dress trees in yellow ribbons as if they were young girls.
War as a shadow of war before Eden. Pax Amerika.
Who are the chosen, and what of the Hittites, the Sumerians
and the Kurds? A continuous world war. Corporate ideo war games.
Who is taking responsibility for our shadows during this age of light?
The oil fires of Kuwait, a whole country on fire
how many days will the oil lamps burn this time?
What festival of light will lend its name to the offering from the desert?
Scud missiles exploding over Israel more beautiful than the stars
In every citadel there is a well—even the ground water is poisoned
Saddam is rebuilding the tower of Babel Sodom is Saddam in cuneiform
neb-Hussain builds for the nuclear armagedden.
There is little graceto be shed. The final prophet.
What pillars of wisdom, what articles of faith to bear witness to this?
Afraid of their own impure thoughts, men blame the women for them

in Russian every womanís patronymic name ends in ova- ovum the egg


DV 12-16 missing
D V #17 Grandpa Sam's Farm  (empty Word file..)


DREAM VESSELS # 20:   Piano Rose I  
         from a collage by Marsha Connell

And the piano rose
only to find itself entangled
in the gnarled arms of an old oak.
Returning home to the trees
was what it least expected.

From the trunk, a cherub—
hair transformed into wings
muses over his handiwork:
a couple making sweet music
in the mossy arbor.

The crescent moon threatens to slip
down the throat of the well,
full-bellied roses rise from the dankness.
A single rose caught napping
on the piano lid like a flightless bird.

No one comes to play the piano
nesting clumsily in the trees.
Stone urns. Spanish moss gathers
in the wisdom of the air.

Summer, 1992


DREAM VESSEL # 21: Piano Rose II
         from a collage by Marsha Connell

Between shrouded barn and hills, cobwebs tether a piano to the sky.
A raku bowl instructs a white rose on gravity & the ritual of tea.
The eclipsed century unfurls its dark flag. Japanese soldiers,
or the struggle of the sun and the moon comes to mind.  
The artist said, A piano is more like a house than a barn.

The piano dreams itself into being: endless halls, lonely floors,
the caged sun porch with its restless regiment of rocking chairs.
Everything in black & white. The high ceilings, sconced candles.
Her grandfather’s barn surprises her with a secret studio.
She dreams of finding lost art; her task: to restore the garden.

Ivory keys tickle the confluence of memory and longing.
In the empty house, dischordant music shatters the windows.
Transfixed by dim visions of childhood, she returns to the farm
of white roses, her father’s death, cobwebs shrouding the past.
Born on the cusp of war, she finds light
                                             by naming the sources of darkness.

In the garden, a sculpture rises from a vessel, like Daphne,
into the corona of the black sun. Who is the enemy?
She must choose between sprouting branches, or wings.
Oil derricks inscribe haloes of black gold on desert sands.
The moon weeps, footprints in the lunar dust.

Summer  92 -  4/94


DREAM VESSEL # 22  SOURCES OF POWER

The angel in back offers her golden bowl.
On the hem of her garment, a procession
of men offer bowls in rapid succession.
Her wings shelter those who stand beside
a painted hide beneath an orange sun
and the vertical vedrigris of a bamboo forest.
Worshippers carry the crozier and the chalice,
water plumments from the mountains.
Such is the gift of power; it begets more power.
An angel who is a bird drinks from the bowl
of a pillar that rises above them.
Old Byzantium, the Cheyenne Way
and modern technology collide head-on with nature.

An army of windmills compliments the electric pole
Bamboo gates and a score of sentient beings.
we transport
Splayed between the triangular bodies

(I think the rest is missing..... Blasted ASCII file)


DREAM VESSELS # 23:  Three Mile Island
 from a collage by Marsha Connell
—for Regina Susskind who did not leave TMI in time

Above the tilled field a monk dips knowerís ink into the earth,
serenely addresses the dichotomy of a oil field;
a black chrysanthemum blossoming in his Zen garden.
Morning enters reverently through wooden slats.
Patterns endlessly repeat themselves.

Red lights—virgin teats—glow on the sleek green bellies
of nuclear reactors resembling vessels emerging from raw clay;
the potter breathes air into the pot, raising the walls.
These, our towers to the strange worship of divided light.
A vessel adorned with cranes sprouts papery wings as if to escape.

They say Chernobyl is heating up again;
no one can extinguish the graphite fires.
Used to their government crying wolf,
the old ones have moved back to their villages
at Ground Zeroóthe black egg of the phoenix.
They say: we donít believe. Show us evidence.

The insidious light shines through us; a light we canít see.
A light for which a child made a thousand paper cranes.
The cranes, who mate for life, most elegantly bow and rise,
pirouetting, sweeping their wings; a ballet for air and earth.

It is evident the monk cultivates the origins
of running grass before he begins to write.
How then, to cipher the inscriptions
of those megaliths pilloring the garden of the sky?
 
Summer 1992

DREAM VESSELS # 25 Southwest Venus (Rivkeh’s vision) DRAFT
From a collage by Marsha Connell

Blackware, San Ildefonso—
feathers circumnavigating the pots
I met Maria’s grandson at the farmer’s market,
he’s also a potter who showed us the new techniques,
when I told him I had met his grandmother years before.
He is proud to keep the tradition alive.

On the pedestal in the gallery, a torso of a woman, 
with arms, head, and breast missing, 
her clothing tucked between her thighs. 
Such an odd way to dress for war,
was she an Amazon with one breast missing?
It also seems odd that a piece of carved stone
would willingly slough off one breast.
A mastectomy in stone?
The land folds its multitude of thighs
to where the water gathers.
The ollas pour the water of life into a parched land.
It wasn’t always so.
A trinity of ollas in perfect formation
preserved a way of life, an unwritten history.
These vessels of our bodies,
the vessels of the dead, and of life.

And the rotation of crops—
Once, the Middle East was the granary of the world,
with complex irrigation systems,
but the cycle was altered, the soil salted up, the crops failed.
Urok, Nineveh failed and the exodus began.
Starvation made them desperate.
History changed itself again and again.
Invaders, Raiders, Crusaders, and us.

Meanwhile in the New World,
the old ones built pots inscribed with the key to life.
Ariadne’s secret, the maze.
Anasazi redware, Pueblo blackware.
What survives of a lost culture.
The accumulation of a people began with the pots.
While the Greeks carved statues of warrior women,
the sacred theater froze time in stone.
The pots whisper secrets no one can translate.

Summer 1992

DREAM VESSELS # 26: Exodus DRAFT
From a collage by Marsha Connell

Three camels, ships of the desert
in caravan; turbaned riders asleep
in the green-gold of night
striding toward us
an archaic statue thick calves
a woman by the breasts, but a man in stride
the wind whips her garments
molding them to her body
left foot forward
a ricebowl above her head
the Orient, the camels, the silk road
naked vertebrae rise against the night sky
like a howling animal,
a quadruped reaching for the sky in grief
on the unstable platform of two legs
while lightning punctuates exclamates the horizon
The snow capped mountains bathed in royal afterglow
a messenger walks out of the desert
neither male nor female
we must seek new paths, new directions
the way we have been going has been too late
her arms are gone, she cannot embrace us
a fissure threatens to divide her
across the gut and she is bald
her hair is lost in the night
the rice bowl, a cauldron to resurrect the dead
but the fisher king is wounded and cannot heal
she is come to tell us
that she is come
and the camels head left into the sand storm
uneasily rocking their cargo (human or otherwise)

The Israelite fled out of Egypt into the desert
surviving a series of plagues. 
Do nothing be still turn your fears into faith 
aramís rod, the jar of manna 
god walks among them 

__________________
No period at the end of the poem suggests the rest is MIA, like so many of these Word files. Someday I will need to compare the hard copies (if I even have them). The rest of the  poems below are drafts.



Marsha did several more Dream Vessel collages after we'd made a chapbook for our joint Sonoma County Community Foundation regional artist NEA fellowships, and I was onto other projects by then, so I never finished them.