Throwing myself a lifeline (photography)

For the first time in ages, I posted several albums of wildflower photos in two Facebook groups that I belong to, California Native Plant Society, and California Invasive Plants. I was feeling extraordinarily downcast the other day, to the point I was barely functional; I was so weighted with cumulative grief from my April to June fugue, I could feel the numbness in my cheekbones.

So I threw myself a lifeline, and took the long way home. The very, very long way home on the most obscure backroads I could find. It took me 4 1/2 hours. By the end of that journey, I was no longer despondent, nor was I crippled with grief. No matter that my camera no longer properly focuses, or that I desperately need a new one, I still managed to fight my way out of the descent of darkness with it in hand.

This photo says it all, between a rock and a .... a photo I very nearly missed seeing, I had my eye on other prizes—Lupinus microcarpus, var. densiflorus, AKA Chick lupine going to seed. They make me giddy with their breakout lavender hues.

This quote below is what I wrote at the end of one of the photo albums I posted. I wanted to share it with you all, as the same premise applies to all of you, and to all of our posts. This silly little habit of people liking or not liking posts means much more than we realize, in this isolated land of no more hugs. For that, I am grateful.

“Wow, instant gratification, I love the fact that you are all loving this post. Sounds silly, I know. Sometimes it feels like we’re all in the dark. Sometimes the only thing that makes me feel a little bit better is the beauty that surrounds us. On this particular day, I despaired, and could not get out of my blue funk, the grief was palpable, so I took photos, and went the long way home. Sometimes the only thing I can do is to seek out that beauty and post it here. My microcosmic world. Thank you all. ❤ We are all walking each other home.