Medieval playlist

I love love love this, a Medieval French cover of ‘House of the Rising Sun’ as it would have been sung in 1270 AD, by Bardcore—replete with bilingual sing-along text. Gimlet-eyed Lawrence Whelk never looked so good. Alas, no bouncing ball to cling to like a limpet, though. Life sucks.

Next up on the morning playlist is a Medieval rendition of ‘Jolene’ as performed by the ethereal Hildegard von Blingin of Bardcore. Think of Jolene as a forgotten VII wife of Henry VIII.

Addiction, and angst and love gone bad and unrequited love. Sex, drugs and rockin’ lutes. I want thine ugly, I want thy bad. I want love, love, love. It’s time to party like it’s 999. Now make your own Medieval playlist here. I wonder if they do a macabre Macareña? You say you want a revolution, well you know…

Next up is a lovely reimagined Medieval rendition of ‘Jolene’ as performed by the ethereal Hildegard von Blingin of Bardcore. Think of Jolene as the forgotten seventh wife of Henry VIII. 

I say If Jolene wouldst taketh mine lord with such sweet ease, then she may keepeth the bolloxed scoundrel of a cur for herself. Fie!

Not sure if the J in Jolene would sound the same in Medieval English, though. But I’m sure Dolly Parton, who is a great literacy advocate, would love this cover.

Followed by a crumhorn and harp instrumental of Shakira’s ‘Hips Don’t Lie,’ so apropos for these Covid fluff times.

And kicking it up a notch, Holding Out for a Hero, a Medieval trope if ever there was one, will get your toes tapping. And maybe shake off some of that Covid fluff. Dance party time. Think First Knight. Or maybe dragons on the run.

Let’s slow it down a notch with Nothing Else Matters. Cool off time. Breathe. That’s it. Walk it out.

Of course, we are in the Final Countdown. Do you detect a theme here? Through fire and flames. I totally get it. There be dragons. And orange menaces. 

What do we want? Apocalypse. When do we want it? Now.

Remember to vote early and often. Preferably not posthumously. Unless you are from Cook County. Then, by all means, carry on. Preferably not as toxicity carrion.

Let’s party like it’s 999! Cuz, like, dude, nothing else matters.

Well maybe nostalgia matters. All those regrets. The unfulfilled bucket list. O weep your hearts out. We all have Somebody That We Used To Know. I’m not naming names. Hildegard von Blingin is a past mistress of unrequited love, she really knows how to plunge that dagger deep into the soft heart’s core.

And I’m sure we’ve all had one bad romance, or two, or maybe quite a few of them. So relatable. I want thine ugly, I want thy disease. I want love. Love, love love in a time of coronavirus. I’ll drink to that. Too early? What is love but a second-hand emotion?

The title says it all. We’ve all met a few Creeps. And those buskin boots are made for walk-in in your Pumped up boots. Beware the washer at the ford is all I can say. There be trouble ahead. That damned bridge, Jolene don’t take your love away. Hold your head up because Sweet dreams are made of these. And walk like an Egyptian. And We will rock you.

Hopefully the Land of Down Under is for none o us during these Covid times. Sail on by. Don’t Paint it black.

Medieval beauty tips. Not for the faint of heart.

If you, dear reader, want to be polished
with morals and manners,
if you want the esteem of worthy men,
or want to lead a civilised life among noble lords,
to be a shrewd overseer of your property,
keep these everlasting verses in mind.

Thank you Dara Hellman! This totally made my morning. Anachronism rools. (Rhymes with fools.)