There's no way I can even begin to process this last week of hellfire. I can only hope that the words will come. I am desperate enough to turn mindless Facebook questionaires (at bottom) into poetry. I removed all the questions and worked on that skeletal poemography. Then, I revised, tosssed some lines, and reposted it. Because it's a random assortment of bland facts, it forces the mind in different directions with odd juxtapositions. I came up with this:
Yes, I dislike blue cheese but I once shot a Luger.
It kicked my shoulder back into last week.
My ears roared for days. Like an inferno.
Forget coke. Forget Pepsi. Or Dr. Pepper.
Look, I barely passed the electric candy Kool-aid test.
Wish I could say Jack Daniels or Four Roses
but I don't like the taste of whiskey, or whisky.
I don't like hot dogs either. Give me haggis any time.
I never could shake the image of Atticus Finch
standing up to the mob like that in To Kill a Mockingbird.
I wear my Celtic necklace and amethyst rings as talismans.
I don't have hobbies, I do everything full tilt,
as if my life depended on it, I'm an artist and a writer.
Am I ADD? Yup, and/or dyslex.... What? Ohhhh. Shiny!
I can't add either. Forget long division.
Even Archie Williams couldn't teach me algebra.
I don't know which I prefer, Roadrunner or Coyote. Meep-meep.
The past week I've posted countless Facebook PSAs, and wept.
Then I wept some more. Salt tears of grief. For no reason.
Not enough to douse the flame inside.
Daily I drink tea, milk and wine. Definitely need more wine.
This year's harvest is ruined, and next year's too.
And the year after that as well. No more good cheap wine.
I worry about fire leaping across the valley,
my cabin in Forestville, and the literary memorabilia in it.
Letters from Seamus Heaney, Galway Kinnell, Dave Brubeck, etc.
Yeah, well, I dislike .45. Celebrate the new year? Why?
Didn't bother. What's the point? Like I said, .45.
Yes. I miss the mountains, and the sea. The sea, the sea.
I love violet skies, with a side bar of royal blue
tinged by distant cerulean dreams.
I would like to visit Ireland, again, and the Baltic.
The moaii of Easter Island. Maybe the Caribbean.
Go back to Angermeyer's farm on the Galapagos.
Forget satin sheets. Overrated. Give me flannel sheets
or give me a sleeping bag. Or a lawn any time.
I can put my lips together, and I can blow,
but I can't whistle. However, I can drool in tune.
Where am I? At home. The air is toxic with smoke.
The statue of the Cotati accordian-playing mayor
wearing a smoke mask made me laugh out loud.
He was a nice guy, Jim Boggio, the mayor of Cotati,
whom I once met on a swingset in the park.
We talked until dawn rasped its fiery claw on the sky.
wearing a smoke mask made me laugh out loud.
He was a nice guy, Jim Boggio, the mayor of Cotati,
whom I once met on a swingset in the park.
We talked until dawn rasped its fiery claw on the sky.
Yes, I love cats and horses. And red-tail hawks.
What about all the animals? Who will survive?
Someone spotted a giraffe ungulating in Larkfield.
I fear that all the birds are dead. What about the deer and mice?
When I tore my knee. When I had a kidney infection.
When I tore all the muscles on my lower back.
When I smashed my nose on a rock
doing a faceplant on the Continental Divide,
that day, my blood ran in both directions at the same time.
It all hurt. And keeps on hurting. Like this fire.
I'm an orphan. All my aunts and uncles are gone too, save one.
I'm the last generation of my family, and the eldest grandchild.
Sometimes it seems that I am channeling my grannie,
who was both mother and father to me.
Yes, I loved to dance, but you see, my knee....
who was both mother and father to me.
Yes, I loved to dance, but you see, my knee....
Of course I love life. Mightily. With a passion.
My advice? Become the light in a darkened land.
Oct 14, 16
(This was from Liz Haas' questionaire, Oct 11)
Then I turned it into a poem.)
Today, I cried useless tears. California is burning.
Ashes fall like daisy chains and pikake leis.
I want the soothing coolness of ice cream.
Chocolate, coffee, or vanilla will do. Or an iceberg.
I can't read, I can't write, I can't think,
even a road trip of the mind won't do.
All I can do is listen to is fire updates, and worry
about what I cannot control. Acts of God, they say.
Everybody praying, what good is that?
Thoughts and prayers don't rebuild a life.
Thoughts and prayers don't rebuild a life.
After a fiery sunset, the angry sun
dipped into the ocean to cool off.
dipped into the ocean to cool off.
I long for the indigo supplication of clouds and rain.
My hair, redbrown embers, my eyes swollen with grief.
Even salmon, and chocolate cannot assuage this pain.
Thanksgiving and my birthday is coming soon
(but no one remembers, the turkey, center-stage, again).
I open another bottle of Chardonnay.
Why not? The vineyards are burning.
Soon the wine will run out. and the bitter harvest
of ember and ash will be our distillation for years to come.
These days, I am both night owl and morning person,
burning the candle at both ends. Afraid to sleep.
After a week of wildfire, what phoenix rises?
10/16
1. Do you like blue cheese? BARF!
2. Coke or Pepsi? None
3. Do you own a gun? Nope. But I once shot a Luger.
4. What flavor Kool-aid? None. Look, I barely passed the electric candy Kool-aid test.
5. What do you think of hot dogs? Yuck. Give me haggis any time.
6. Favorite TV show? Hmmm, internet binging on Aussie stuff now.
7. Favorite movie? To Kill a Mockingbird.
8. What do you drink in the morning? Tea makes you pee.
.9. Can you do a push up? Nope, why would I want to?
10. Favorite jewelry? Celtic necklace and amethyst rings.
11.
Favorite hobby? I don't have hobbies, I do everything full tilt, as if
my life depended on it, I'm an artist and a writer. The world is my
erster. Oy!
12. Do you have A.D.D Yup, and/or dyslex.... What? Ohhhh. Shiny!
13. Do you wear glasses? Now. Yes. Those special Dollar Store readers. 150, or 175 if I'm feeling frisky. In red.
14. Favorite cartoon character? Roadrunner or Coyote.
15. Three things I did yesterday? Posted FB PSAs, and wept. Then wept some more. Salt tears of grief.
16. Three things you drink regularly? Tea, milk and wine. Definitely wine.
17.
Current worry? Fire, my cabin in Forestville, and the literary
memorabilia in it. Letters from Seamus Heaney, Galway Kinnell, Dave
Brubeck, etc.
18. Current dislikes? .45 Not a Colt. 45. Otherwise Smith & Wesson.
19. Favorite place to go? The mountains, or the sea. The sea, the sea.
20. How did you bring in the new year? Didn't bother. What's the point? .45. Fuckall.
21. Where would you like to go? Ireland, again, and the Baltic. Easter Island. The Caribbean for a snorkel fix.
22.
Name five people who will do this? Nope. Not gonna.Knee-jerk reaction
to this kinda shit means I knee myself in the chin early and often.
24. Favorite color? Purple, with a side bar of royal blue tinged with cerulean dreams.
25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? Eww. Give me flannel sheets or give me a sleeping bag. Or a lawn.
26. Can you whistle? Nope. But I can drool in tune.
27. Where are you now? Home.
28. Would you be a pirate? Arrrr...OK! Where's the rum and the little brolly dringkiepoos?
29. Favorite food? Chocolate and salmon, but not together.
33.
Last thing that made you laugh? The Cotati accordian-mayor statue
wearing a smoke mask, a nice guy, Jim Boggio, whom I once met.
34. Favorite animal? Puddytats and horses. Especially horses. And red-tail hawks.
35. What's your most current injury? None at the moment. But my knee is ongoing.
36. How many tv's are in your house? Do computer screens count? If so, then, lots.
37.
Worst pain ever? When I tore my knee. When I had a kidney infection.
When I tore all the muscles on my lower back. Or when I smashed my nose
on a rock doing a faceplant on the Continental Divide. That day, my
blood ran in both directions at the same time.
38. Do you like to dance? Yes, but you see, my knee....
39.Are
your parents still alive? Nope, I'm an orphan. All my aunts and uncles
are gone too, save one. I'm the last generation of my family, and the
eldest grandchild. I channel my grannie, who was mother and father to
me.
40. Do you love life? Mightily. With gusto.
1. What’s your middle name? V
2. Last Tim you cried.? Today. California burning
3. What's your favorite pizza? marguerita
4. Favorite flower? pikake
6. Did you go to college? Yep
7. Untie your shoes when taking them off? No
8. Roller coasters? nope
9. Favorite ice cream? Choc, coffee, vanilla
10. Favorite thing to do? read, write, road trip
11. Shorts or jeans? Jeans
12. What are you listening to? Fire updates
13. Favorite Color? Blue & purple
14. Tattoo? Nope
15. Color of hair? redbrown
16. Color of eyes? brown
17. Favorite thing to eat? salmon, chocolate (not together)
18. Favorite holiday? Thanksgiving/my birthday (but no one remembers, I always get stood up by the turkey)
19 Beer or wine? Chardonnay
20. Night owl or morning person? Yep, both
21. Favorite day of the week? ThursdayFridaySaturdaySunday
22. Do have a Nickname? Mo
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