Saturday, December 3, 2016

Solving picture math equations

Everybody's going crazy over this math problem. Who knew I was supposed to Multiply or Divide before you Add or Subtract. Whoa. Definitely never learned that rule. Ever. I learned to always go from left to right. Like the way we read in this hemisphere.

All this time I've been doing picture math wrong. I didn't know about the bait and switch part (do multiplication first even if there are no huggy-armed parentheses to hold you in a huddle). 

I was told that we couldn't mix apples and oranges in math—ever—so why is this mixup ok? Is this new math? We're adding coke and fries and burgers, here. What about the apples an oranges? 

Who knew that even WITHOUT parentheses, you still solve it as if there was invisible parentheses there? Why even write it that way? Because someone forgot to add parentheses? Seems like a bait and switch. Or somebody was slovenly. Lazy bastard. Who all agreed to this formality? No wonder people don't like math. I want a hug.

And then there's the trick drawing, as if I wasn't already stressed out. I missed that there was only one pack of fries for the final equation. And McDonald's? Ugh. That explains all the empty calories. And a profound lack of clarity. Too many golden arches. Not a happy meal.

First equation, three cokes, means a a pitstop. Second and third equations with burgers and fries in various configurations means a powerful thirst, and quite possibly indigestion. All those burgers had cheese. Why didn't anyone share their fries? 

Next time, I want to tell the mathematician, choose In-n-Out Burgers. They use real potatoes. Much more straightforward. No hidden ingredients. Do the math. That's my answer and I'm sticking to it.

Now, would you like an apple or an orange?

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