dream journal 11/15 & 16

Alice Kent asked me if I was available to sweep their enormous parking lot. I said yes, of course, happy to be working for them again. Dear Roger was still alive. They said would I be available during the holidays? I said I wasn’t sure and promised a replacement if John and I went to Mexico. I chose my old friend Kathy over a new friend who didn’t understand why I didn’t choose her. It was a case of mistaken loyalties. I knew Cathy, unruffled would fill in well. I had to go we are on the barrier guard to sweep the debris into the ravine. By the house, there is no guard, I was in danger of toppling in. There was an awful lot of work to do. The parking lot has grown exponentially. Lots of people coming in and going and I was all alone working.

Another dream: I was going to Napa State Hospital for a party. I was invited because of the work I had done there. I remember skipping across the lawn in a bounce. It was a major function and they were superintendents and principles from many schools there including from Mark West school. Ida Victorson was walking around the corner from the outdoor reception. I was going the same way but I wanted to avoid her and slipped into the main building to see some of my patient-friends. They were technicians I knew and no patients. I met the sister of a woman who took my workshop. I told her a couple of women from Napa State Hospital were very interested in my work and wanted the residency. As I began to tell her of the money situation in Napa had me stumped she turned to someone else, laughing. So, my work was not important to her. I thought of going to the other building where a meeting was taking place with corporate types eating chocolate chip cookies.

Dream journal 11/16 the back door of my grandmother’s house wouldn’t close so I pushed it extra hard and the lintel shifted. There was dirt that got in the way so I opened the door and saw the doorstep had fallen apart. And then tried to put it back together and I had to line up the inner core with the under core and put nails back in the holes and then slip the outer cap over the whole thing like a Chinese puzzle. It wasn’t easy to do. Eventually I got it back together and the core was like a tooth cap over the core. There were years of debris trapped under that cat. Dust, dry cereal, mulch.

Inside there were several of us of the same age and we were all related but we were adopted. Our father, told us that we were related to each other. One boy had already figured out that he was related to a judge and the similarity was striking. I was related to a soldier and a musician. There were five of us. Earlier, I had told one man I didn’t care who he was related to, I didn’t like him because he was mean and small minded.

We were all standing between the kitchen and dining room. I was bent over by the table doing something, picking up cans? I was a bit distracted. Was she a singer but she was a musician and an artist, a witch? I remember being surprised by the musician part. Was it classical? 

I remember trying to compare this mother whom I had never seen, with myself to get a better understanding of myself and it did not seem to help. Mainly because I don’t know who she was. She is a random name on a mailing list for the Russian River Writers’ Guild, I don’t think I’ve ever met her. But why was her name in my dream and was she a real person?