So long, old friend.... Robin Williams

My friend Molly Fisk posted a photo of Robin on my Facebook page and said, such sad news this afternoon. thinking of you. intensely sad. i'm unfriending people right and left on FB who don't seem to understand depression or how people soothe themselves.

Thanks for the photo post Molly. Jim Carmin said: Robin William joins more than 105 Americans each day in such a sad fraternity... Back in the day, Molly and I sat next to each other in costume class at College of Marin. She once said, We used to dress Robin. It’s true. Malvolio’s crossed garters and all.

When I first heard the news, it was a visceral sucker-punch to the gut. I nearly threw up in the parking lot at the Redwood Credit Union in Petaluma. I was stealing their wifi while waiting for my cousin when I saw the news. I was devastated, then angry. I always thought he had the demons under control—or at least under the barstool.

Someone said Robin just had open heart surgery—and a lot of people commit suicide afterwards. A friend, Richard Beebee, couldn't bear the depression oand pain—nothing worked and so he hung himself. Robin's been on my mind a lot lately.

A friend saw him at Olney Hall, and said there was a heckler in the audience. Robin took out an invisible fishing pole, cast the line out over the audience and simply stated "Fishing for assholes." It brought the house down. Sometimes you gotta do a catch and release on some of those Facebook “friends” who are being assholes.

Robin would have understood.

O Captain! My Captain!

• Robin Williams' Magic Mirror
• Robin Spotting