Friday, September 13, 2013

Coming up Redhead

Blogspot has this nifty overview feature called Traffic Sources so I can see some of the Google search keyword parameters that lead people to my posts. (Other than my biggest pageview fan,—a spamspider, or a web crawler domain.)

Nearly all my traffic sources are redheaded questions. OK, I get that. THE VIKING IRISH REDHEAD GENE (at 27,127+ page views out of a total of 95,005 page views) is, by far, my most popular blog post. It accounts for 1/3 of all my blog traffic. (But, why this rabid fascination with redheads? Especially Vikings and redheads—she asks.)

By comparison, a spin-off redhead post, Red-headed step-children ranking number 5 on my top 5 blog posts, at 952 page views, doesn't even come close. Not even remotely. I even changed the filters on my Hot Blogs list. So THE VIKING IRISH REDHEAD GENE post is somehow Google-charmed.

So I created a spin-off post to see what would happen:
Would it too leap off the charts? At 86 page views, that would be nada. To level the playing field, I even used the exact same searchword list (like i did with this post): 
Celts, ginger, Irish redheads, red hair, red hair gene, redheaded stepchildren, redheads, Scottish redheads, Viking redheads
I used to think that traffic popularity had to do with total back-links within a blog post. So I began to add links right, left and center—to see if it made any difference. Nope. Let's just see of this post suddenly gets a lot of hits. I changed the title to Coming up Redhead.

However, in my all time Top Ten Pageviews by Countries list, I have 48,663 US readers ('splains that lack of historical acumen), my Number 9 ain't even close at 6023 UK readers, and in Ireland, the land of redheads, only 747 readers. No Scandinavian countries even made the Top Ten list. 

So, I guess that answers my question: who are my readers. So if I may extrapolate, Americans, in love with a skewed post-neoclassical notion of repatriation of Vikings as a romantic ideal, assume that raping Irish women lead to red hair? 

Not that any of this is even remotely blogworthy, but….

But when I saw this latest search question in my traffic sources, I nearly had butt-apoplexy:

are celts descended from vikings? 

(Warning: dangerous segues ahead.)

AGH! Talk about acute historical cluelessness. Really?

FWIW: List of outside traffic source search words (note: the largest entry is Vikings!):

red hair gene
redhead origin
"types of red hair"
redheads decent
are red haired people warriors
worrior model red hair
redhead origin red hair gene
where do red heads trace back to
what countries is it good to be a redhead
ancestory of natural strawberry blond fair skinned womanhighest redheads per country
why do some redheads have afros?
are redheads descended from africans
do the spanish like the irish red hair
red hair gene portuguese
german red head experiment
ancient history of redheads
origin of fair hair freckles blue eyes
what is the dominant eye color of red heads
algernon redhead wife willing
do men lime redheads

irish redheads
ireland women redheads
redhead irishman
redheaded celtic male
the irish vs the scots genes
why is it thought that red hair is irish?
are irish people known for red hair
where did the irish get their red hair
red heads in ireland when did they come about?
do all redheads have irish
does red hair mean your irish
are all gingers of irish descent
irish red hair gene discovered
irish genes
irish travellers genes
red hair regressive gene irish traveller
samhain redheads
ginger hairy scottsmen
vikings genes irish scotish
irish red hair vikings
irish genes red hair vikings ireland
redheaded irish people related to vicking chieftans
are blue eyed irish descended from vikings
when did blond hair ireland

are there redheads in russia
redheads in ukraine
are redheads nordic
red hair norse trait
redheads in norse mythology
does red hair come from scandinavia
are redheads from norwegian dicent
did the vikings bring red hair in ireland and scotland
are redheads from ireland really vikings
red heads in iceland
redhaired dane
redheads in sweden
pictures of swedish redheads
between skandinavia and eastern europe where are green eyes & red hair more prevelant
can scandinavians have redhair
vikings genes irish scotish
irish red hair vikings
viking redhead
vikings red hair
red hair green eyes vikings
are blue eyed irish descended from vikings is it true that red headed people desended from vickings
were there dark headed vikings
scandinavian genetic traits
viking bloodtype
norse blood type
is a+ blood from the vikings?
? how dna can tell you have viking blood
vikings steal irish women
scandinavian rape irish
redheads of viking rape
irish genes red hair vikings ireland
are celts descended from vikings

are celts descended from vikings? What?

And it's killing me to leave the spelling errors stet.

Are Celts descended from Vikings? Let's see. A timeline would help, dude.

The Late Neolithic Copper Age Bell Beaker culture (ca. 2800 – 1800 BC), is probably the ancestor of the Celts. They had distinctive pottery drinking vessels and made barley beer. The Bell Beaker culture was a linguistic ancestor of Proto-Celtic. Also linguistically associated was the Pre-Hallstatt  Urnfield Culture in central Europe, as an ancestral culture of Celtic culture.

Iberian Bell Beaker culture had strong ties with Ireland—which hosted an archaic form of  Bell Beaker culture. Irish copper from Kerry had a specific lead isotope—was found in N. & C. Europe from ca. 2300 to 1700 BC. Central European Únětice Culture which predated the Celtic Hallstatt culture, also had strong ties with Britain and Ireland during the formation of Bronze Age Europe. (Irish gold lunulae, and later La Tène gold torcs).

Celts date back to at least 1200 BC (if not earlier), during  the Late Bronze Age, (Hallstatt culture was in full swing by 800-450 BC), followed by the La Tène culture (450 BC) of antiquity— and the Vikings first landed in Great Britain ca. 789 AD, but didn't stick around.

When did the Celts arrive in Ireland? There were several migrations. The Late Bronze Age, or earlier—mid 2nd millennium BC.
The arrival in Britain of cultural traits identified as Celtic is usually taken to correspond to Hallstatt influence and the appearance of chariot burials in what is now England from about the 6th century BC. Genetic studies regarding Y-DNA Haplogroup I-M284 have concluded that there was Late Iron Age migration of Celtic La Tène people to Britain and then onto north-east Ireland. —Wiki
The first recorded Viking raid in Irish history occurred in 795 AD when Vikings from Norway looted the island. —Wiki
The Vikings (from Old Norse víkingr) were seafaring north Germanic people who raided, traded, explored, and settled in wide areas of Europe, Asia, and the North Atlantic islands from the late 8th to the mid-11th centuries AD. —Wiki
The Viking Age is the period from 793 AD to 1066 AD in European History, especially Northern European and Scandinavian history, following the Germanic Iron Age  In England, the Viking Age began officially on 8 June 793 when Vikings attacked the abbey on Lindisfarne. The Vikings who invaded western and eastern Europe were chiefly pagans from Denmark, Norway and Sweden. They also settled in the Faroe Islands, IrelandIceland, Scotland (Caithness, the Hebrides and the Northern Isles), Greenland, and Canada. It is unknown what triggered the Norse expansion and conquests. This era coincided with the Medieval Warm Period (800–1300) and stopped with the start of the Little Ice Age (about 1250–1850) —Wiki
Maybe the person who wrote that query was dyslexic or didn't know the difference between BC and AD.

The only way it could remotely work is if you switched the query around:
are Vikings descended from Celts? And even then it would be problematic, unless you were referring to the Dublin Norse who took Irish (and Scottish) wives. Their children and grandchildren (who settled Iceland and the Faroes) would be Viking Celts. Agh! So their descendants were Vikings descended from one branch of Celts.

But that wasn't the question, was it?

Can I fish-slap someone now? What about a fish dance? With a redheaded salmon? Huh? Huh? Can I? Can I? Please, pretty please with a redhead on top? (No, not that way! Ya scurvy-ridden....)

This moment was probably brought to you by Monthy Python. Or not.

It is, however, Friday the Thirteenth.


What's Algernon doing in this list anyway? FWIW, even a detailed Google search didn't shed light on that one. (Sigh.)

Heh. This list ought to keep them occupied.

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