Last night I said to Lee Perron: When I was in Montana, I was looking for change, because I deserved better than what I was getting. He asked if I went to John Oliver Simon's going away party, and I said no I didn't want to go because he wanted me to, so he could be forgiven. I'm tired of it.
Our last meeting and phone conversation was fine and I was satisfied to let it go at that. I'd already said goodbye to John. Then I tell Lee: if something happens to John on this trip, a worst-case possible scenario for nine months in South America, then I would have to be satisfied with our last conversation.
John's party wasn't necessarily going to make any difference in my life, or of my memories of him. It would be awkward for me to be there.
John's party wasn't necessarily going to make any difference in my life, or of my memories of him. It would be awkward for me to be there.
Lee asks: Is it dangerous where John's going? I tell him South America is always dangerous, there's always an element of risk. We've gotten into a couple potential life-threatening situations in our own travels together.
Lee is tired and doesn't respond when I say I sound pretty heartless. He says the signs are all there. Time for me to fast again. I guess I should've been a monk, but I'm an atheist.
Lee wanted to know about my friend Lee Evans, and Patrick? who studied with Richard Hugo and James Wright. He wants to know if Patrick had any memorabilia of theirs. Lee's a rare bookseller so he's always hunting for poetic ephemera.
When I first met Patrick, I didn't like his demeanor, or his words. Oil and water. But when he got on stage and told his life story, I was moved to tears. Whether by accident or design, I was transported into his world.
When I first met Patrick, I didn't like his demeanor, or his words. Oil and water. But when he got on stage and told his life story, I was moved to tears. Whether by accident or design, I was transported into his world.
He was also also noticeably changed toward us afterwards, and was more accessible and approachable. He wants a copy of my poem, Lighting the Electric Fire, that I had read to the group. He says it's unusual to find such sustained maturity that stays with you all through the poem, and continues to resonate long after the poem is over.
I also give him a copy of my children's poetry collection, This Body is to Ask. (Garbled text.....) I can't breathe. I do all these crazy things and see very little return. I personally get exhausted and have trouble nourishing myself.
September 12, 1995
Need to find original and decode garbled text.. who is Patrick? I must've been referring to a Montana poet.
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