OK, FOUND V. 3 on an old hard drive. Will restore it later. Right now I’m too disenheartened to think.
Final copy is missing. I found a first draft in my scanned notes. The short play would’ve been posted on my blog Sept 26, 2016. It was a smash success. I did a lot of historical research and incorporated folklore. Neil was so good as a vagrant ghost that some of the guests tried to run him off.Literally.
(Thick Scottish Accent / 10 minute dialogue…go in quick / STUN / and out. NO WASTED WORDS/TERSE. Direct pause for drama and emphasis… film-noir voiceover effect, but more folksy.)
COSTUME: Western cowboy look, faded jeans, suspenders, straw hat, worn shoes, unshaven, Neilly has a pronounced limp and carries a walking stick.
PROP: a diary or Journal, or folded papers, a scroll. It should be soiled, look ancient, with burn-marks. (I made the props too).
Neilly McNeillie bio: he’s been a ghost stuck in limbo in Woodside since 1863. He worked in Mathias Parkhurst’s Post Office cum store, stage stop, hotel, and sometimes jail.
He thought he was going to be the next sheriff, but was mistakenly shot through a front window-blind by a wanted gunslinger, Joady McBrody, who mistook his silhouette for that of Mathias Parkhurst. Was it a case of mistaken identity? It’s speculated that Joady McBrody was hired by Dr. Tripp.
Neilly wants to rest in peace, and the reason why he’s telling the story is to vindicate Parkhurst, and to see justice…
PLACE NAMES to drop:
(North) Squealer Gulch, McGarvey’s (Gulch to the north); Apple Tree Gulch;
CREEKS Sausal Creek, Martin Creek
(South) Corte de Madera Creek, Bear Creek, Alambique Creek;
Tripp Road Parallels 101, runs into King Mountain Road.
CROSSROADS HUB of Woodside: Woodside Road, Mountain Hill Road, Carfada Road, Whiskey Hill Road , Why Worry Lane!
(South) Bear Gulch Road, Portola Road, Old La Honda Road, Sand Hill Road.
ANY WELL-KNOWN LOCAL REFS… The Village Pub, Woodside Town Hall, mention the Methuselah tree on Skyline
Need Name of BARN, XXX
NEED HOUSE ADDRESSES IN WOODSIDE…
NAMES of Children to mention
NAMES of Folks in the crowd at start of show…. anchor it in time and place.
(ENTRANCE. (PREAMBLE—GRAB ATTENTION, SHOCK VALUE—COMMIT TO THE STORY)
NEILLY: Where the hell have all the Redwoods gone around here? Used to be everywhere afore these houses were built…Excuse me, folks, I was lost again down by creek. Used to know these parts like the back o’ ma hand...it’s all so different now.
(TURNS, PAUSES)
Saw the fire, sorry tae bother yees…Hello, boys. How ya doin’?
(THEN HE TURNS BACK)
Hey Jimmy, Annie, Bobby…(etc.)..Oh, by the way, let me tell you this afore I go… I found this journal. Says it might belong to Mathias…Mathias, Parkhurst, you know him, right?
(PULLS JOURNAL FROM BACK POCKET, HOLDS IT UP)
(INTRODUCES HIMSELF):
I’m Neilly McNeilly, shot by mistake for Mathias Parkhurst, the guy who founded the town you live in…I found this diary in an onion box near the spooky Barn… You still hear the wails? back there?
(HOLDS THE JOURNAL UP. NOTICES PEOPLE) (drop guests names)
Hello E_____ and J_______…howz it goin? Frank, it’s yersel’, is it? Howdy.
Now, I don’t want to waste yer time or frighten yees, but I have sometin’ powerful strange tae tell ye… About Mathias, right. He came here round age 20—bought 127 acres, started logging…
(REALIZES)
Aye, now, it was HIM who cut down the trees. Drove the Indians, the Ohlone, crazy insane, they believed ghosts inhabited the forest then… Funny how things come back to haunt ya, huh? Is the Methuselah tree still standing? I named that tree, ya know.
(SPOOKY GRIN)
Place was haunted… Still is.
(SUSPICIOUSLY)
Mr Parkhurst had coupla partners, see? One Dr, Tripp, an’ a man named Ellis. Lordy that man could outdrink a fish. And another fella. Can’t remember his name. They wuz all in business together. It all was working out fine, as it was BOOM-TIME in good old San Francisco! People wuz getting respectable with all that gold coming in, they needed real houses to live in. No overturned rowboats.
(MAKES A BOOMING SOUND )
The boys started a shingle business, and sold them in San Francisco. They’d float log rafts up the bay laden with shingles. And they made a killing.
But there was a fly in the ointment: Tripp, a cavity obsessed, ambitious dentist. He was never satisfied. Rumor has it that he wanted an extortion, I mean, an EXTRACTION Empire….
(ACKNOWLWDGES AUDIENCE)
Ha! Any Med-Dental folks in the field? The rest of yees, keep yer traps shut round them folks.
Folks said—and it’s written right in this here journal—that he and Parkhurst argued over naming the town…
(SHRUGS)
Who knows? And that mebbe blackmail was involved.
The PLOT thickens…
(CHECKS THE JOURNAL AGAIN)
Tryin’ tae make oot more here in the journal. Hard tae read.
Now, Parkhurst, he died back in 1863, he was only 34. It was a weird goofy death, maybe. But according to his journal, he’d already died a little inside, aforehand, from a broken heart.
They allegedly argued…Tripp wanted to call it Dentville, and Parkhurst wanted to call it Parkside. So they settled on “Wood” after hitting the shingle jackpot in San Francisco. And they called it Woodville, then Woodside. Now—your town—our town! How about that?
But it seems love entered and complicated the idyllic picture.
According to this journal, around 1860, Parkhurst fell in love with an Ohlone maiden. Head over heels, he was… and she was beautiful…right enough.
(EXAMINES THE JOURNAL, FASCINATED)
The secret was kept from everybody. It was a wild west version of Romeo and Juliet, he being white and she, well you know back then… they’d rendezvous secretly at the redwood grove. Kept it quiet.
(NAME A LOCAL WELL KNOWN SPOT)
They’d sneak past the barn down along Sausal Creek (that means Willow) on moonlit nights, clandestinely holding hands like lovers do. Says so right here…
(POINTS TO JOURNAL)
One day, in the year 1863, the Ohlone maiden got a toothache. Rare, since the Ohlone had great teeth, no sugar. Life is strange that way, right?
Tripp, either seeking revenge, or just for spite, lured her into the dental chair, strapped her down, and pulled out all her teeth. Like little pearls, they wuz. No laudunum neither.
The poor woman was left with a bloody pulp of a mouth. She was scandalized and ruined. The secret was out. She became a tortured recluse. Shunned by her people, and by our folks. Broke Mathias’ heart.
He wrote: It really, really breaks my heart to see her in such pain…our secret hidden love gone astray.
(SPOOKY SOTO VOICE)
Now, you’ve heard the wails late at night, now, right? Sometimes, when the moon is full, you can still hear these cries and wails, down by the creek, or near the school. An’ so do yer wee bairns, yer kiddies… Jimmy, and Harry and Mary said they can sometimes hear them from the elementary school.
Ach! One September night right around the Equinox, the lovers arranged to meet up. He coaxed her out, she toothless, and he, well, broken hearted and confused…
She came to the grove as usual, but Mathias never showed up. Maybe he’d had second thoughts, or cold feet?
Parkhurst’s grief-stricken Ohlone sweetheart stumbled from the redwood grove, past the barn, to the creek. She knelt in the streambed and filled her mouth and pockets with pebbles. Weighted down and bloated with tears, she slipped silently under the water, as the shattered moonlight eddied across the pool. She drowned her sorrows in Sausal Creek a tragic ending.
Shot dead, he was, by that nefarious gunslinger, Joady McBrody. Right through the heart. A case of mistaken identity. Mathias and his Indian maiden both died that night. And to this day, (Sausal) Willow Creek still weeps for them.
And you know on moonlit September nights around the Equinox, sometimes you ken hear things. If you ever hear those cries of grief, well, mebbe, your kids hear these cries—they’re closer to the otherworld…fill your ears with pebbles.
Jimmy, Randell, Katie—if ye ever hear them, if ye reach into the pool, and splash around, ye’ll find all manner of odd things… better to leave them be, there’s a curse on them.
(TOSSES PEBBLES, TOOTH NECKLACE, OR MINIATURE SKULLS AT THE AUDIENCE—candy corn?)
’Youse folks can keep that lot.
(LOOKS AROUND SCARILY)
REMEMBER...ghosts cannae cross over water even if thon wails can.
(EXITS AS IF HORRIFIED, BUT THEN HE SMILES)
(SIGHS) Well, mebbe I can go home now.
(ALT ENDING: Neilly steals away into shadows after tossing ghost articles to them)
Ach! A’ll be away the noo. I bid yees all a good moonlight good nicht!
(LOOKS BACK, GIVES A FAINT WAVE)
Woodside Spook Party Sat Sept 24TH 2016—ROUGH FIRST DRAFT- Script Outline
MAKE ME CARE ! HAVE YOU MADE ME WANT TO KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT?
(Thick Scottish Accent / 10 minute dialogue…in / STUN /out
NO WASTED WORDS/TERSE
Direct pause for Drama and Emphasis…THINK FILM NOIR VOICE OVER…IMPERATIVE but FOLKSY.
COSTUME—Faded jeans, straw hat, worn sandals, unshaven, shadow, limp with stick
PROP: DIARY—or Journal, or knotted papers. It sould be soiled, look ancient, withburn-marks/
Western Cowboy look…
Neilly McNeillie bio: he’s been here forever.
Worked in Parkhurst’s Post Office cum store, stage stop and sometimes jail
He theought he was going to be the next be sheriff, but was mistakenly shot through a front window blind by Joady McBrody, wanted gunslinger, who mistook his silhouette for that of Mathias Parkhurst, and who was hired by Dr. Tripp.
Neillie McNeillie has been a ghost since 1800s.
He wants to REST IN PEACE, and the reason why he’s telling the story. To vindicate Parkhurst, to see justice…
Need Names of
BARN
CREEK
HOUSE ADDRESSES IN WOODSIDE…
Children to mention
Folks in the crowd at start of show….
ANY WELL-KNOWN LOCAL REFS…
(ENTRANCE)
(PREAMBLE—GRAB ATTENTION, SHOCK VALUE—COMMIT TO THE STORY)
NEILLY: Where the hell have all the Redwoods gone around here? Used to be everywhere afore these houses were built…Excuse me, folks, I was lost again down by Creek Used to know these parts like the back o ma hand...
(turn, pause)
Saw the fire, sorry tae bother yees…
(then, turn back) HEY JIMMY, ANNIE, BOBBY…(etc.)..Oh, by the way, let me tell you this afore I go… I found this paper, mebbe it’s a journal? Says it might belong to Mathias…Mathias, Parkhurst, you know him, right?
(PULLS JOURNAL FROM BACK POCKET, HOLDS IT UP)
(INTRODUCES HIMSELF):
I’m Neilly McNeilly, shot by mistake for Mathias Parkhurst, the guy who founded the town you live in…I found this diary or maybe it’s a journal in an onion box near the spooky Barn… You still hear the wails? back there?
(HOLDS THE JOURNAL UP. NOTICES PEOPLE)…Hello E and J…howz it goin…Frank…its yersel…))
NOW, I don’t want to waste yer time or FRIGHTEN YEES, BUT I HAVE SOMETHIN strange tae tell ye…
About Mathias, right, came here round age 20---bought 127 acres, started logging…
(REALIZES!!) AYE/NAW! it WAS HIM who cut down the trees. Drove the Indians, Ohlone, crazy insane, believed ghosts inhabited the forest then…funny how things come back to haunt ya, huh?
(spooky GRIN…)
Place was haunted,
(Suspiciously) --LOOK AROUND…even THEN…!
Mr Parkhurst had coupla partners, one Dr, Tripp, man named Ellis and another fella. All in biz together. All worked out BOOM-TIME!
(MAKE THE SOUND ) …shingle biz, sold them to build SF…
Fly in the Dental Ointment : Tripp, cavity obsessed, ambitious Dentist, Rumored..he was wanted an Extortion-EXTRACTION Empire, (Med-Dental, any folks work in that field?) Folks said (and it’s in this JOURNAL!) he and P’Hurst especially argued bout naming of the town…
(SHRUGS)…Who KNOWS..? And that BLACKMAIL was involved…?
The PLOT thickens…
(checks the journal again)….TRYIN TAE MAKE OOT MORE WRITTEN HERE…
Now Parkhurst died young, 34 in 1863....weird….goofy death, maybe…but according to his journal, it WAS a BROKEN HEART….more later…They allegedly..ARGUED…Tripp WANTED Dentville and PHurst Parkside, they settled on “Wood” after hitting the shingle jackpot…in SF..so WOODSIDE…now…your town…our town!
LOVE ENTERED AND COMPLICATED THE PICTURE IT SEEMS….According to THIS journal, Parkhurst fell in love with an Ohlone maiden. HEAD OVER HEELS…she WAS beautiful…right enough…
(EXAMINES THE JOURNAL FASCINATED)
The secret was kept from everybody, (IT WAS A ROMEO AND JULIET OF THE WILD-WEST VERSION!), he being white and she, well you know back then…Secretly. they’d rendezvous at REDWOOD GROVE OR LOCAL WELL KNOWN SPOT (NAME),
promenade past the BARN down along the CREEKSIDE on moonlit nights, holding hands like lovers do,,,says so here…
(points to journal)…
ONE DAY.. the OHLONE maiden got a toothache. Rare, since Ohlone had great teeth, no sugar, LIFE IS STRANGE THAT WAY, right? Tripp post argument, or for spite, maybe, pulled out ALL her teeth…woman left w/ just swollen bloody gums…scandalized / ruined…became a tortured recluse…Broke Mathias’ heart,
he writes…IT REALLY REALLY BROKE MY HEART...BOLD LETTERS…
Now, you’ve heard the wails at night, now, right? Jimmy, and Harry and Mary can hear them sometimes from the ELEM SCHOOL…
(spooky voice).
YOU hear these cries, these, wails, down by the CREEKSIDE, or near the school…now…so do yer BAIRNS, YER KIDDIES…
BY AND BY…One Sept night near the Equinox…The lovers where to meet, He coaxed her out, she toothless, he, well, Broken hearted and CONFUSED…She came to the GROVE as usual, and he never met her, maybe he’d had second thoughts…cold feet? Runny nose?
MATHIAS’ Ohlone sweetheart, that night…stumbled from Grove to the BARN to the creekside, knelt and filled her mouth, and her pockets, with pebbles then WEIGHTED DOWN, BLOATED WI’ TEARS, she slipped silently under the water, as the broken moonlight eddied across its surface, deep drowned…a tragic end…
And you know on moonlit Sept nights around the Equinox…
IF YOU DO HEAR THESE CRIES…WELL…Your kids hear these CRIES…JIMMY, Randell, Katie…hear them…
if ye REACH in, and splash around, ye find THINGS…(TOSS PEBBLES, AND OR TOOTH NECKLACE AND/OR MINIATURE SKULL)…’Youse FOLKS CAN KEEP THAT…
(LOOKS AROUND SCARILY)
REMEMBER...ghosts cannae cross over WATER even if THON WAILS CAN…
(EXIT as if horrified, but SMILE)
SIGH…MIBBE I CAN GO HOME NOW…
(ALT End---steals away into shadows after tossing ghost articles to them)…A’ll away the noo…look back, faint wave…
Need Names of..
BARN
CREEK
HOUSE ADDRESSES IN WOODSIDE…
Children to mention
Folks in the crowd at start.of show….
ANY WELL-KNOWN LOCAL REFS…/
Neillie McNeillie---bio---been here forever. Worked in Parkhurst’s PO/STORE, was gonna be sheriff, but mistakenly shot as SILHOUETTE through front window blind, by Joady McBrody, wanted gunslinger, who mistook his silhouette for Mathias Parkhurst, and was hired by Dr Tripp… been a ghost since 1800s something, wants to REST IN PEACE, REASON why he’s telling the story. To vindicate Parkhurst, see justice told…
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