Dream Sequence with Peter Kapp

DREAM IMAGE: AGGRESSION

A mask of Peter Kapp emerged from the struggle of yin and yang, it spun so fast that they became round and viscous, glistening black, and chalky white. They raced around each other counter-clockwise. They spun like the planets and became gray.

Peter's face was a mask made of gypsum. His right side was black, and his eyes were sightless, like the eyes of classical statues. He couldn't see because the power, the internal balance was off. The struggle to overcome the past blocks in the structure of personality. It didn't work and there was no going back to what once was, no matter how hard he tried.

Balance and harmony came unwillingly to the student.

6/8/1979

Note Bene: Interesting, if odd dream sequence. I'd only met piobaireachd bagpiper Peter Kapp once, briefly, I think it was in Casper, Mendocino Co., not realizing that five years later, we'd meet again and become lovers (1981). It was a very short affair due to his anger. I hope he has found happiness with someone special. So hard, the letting go.

I'm not sure if this was a prophetic dream or not. Or what he was doing in my dreams. Or weather I'd picked up on it subliminally and was giving myself fair warning. If so, I didn't heed my own advice. It saddens me in that I lost a friend in losing him.

Last I heard he was still living up in Comptche. I think he was someone I'd met while I was still with Bob Hamilton. I remember staying at his place (with Bob?)

When Peter and I did meet up again later in the early 1980s, we had fun, he'd drop by upon occasion, if he had a gig in the area, and spend the night in his van or on the floor. It was a long drive north.

One time we had an impromptu ceilidhe in the driveway. We danced in the dust under a full winter moon until we were winded. And another time he had a New Year's Eve gig at the Top of the Mark in San Francisco to pipe in the New Year. I dressed up as a renaissance wench and trailed behind him. Top of the Mark!

Then we went and spoiled it all by becoming lovers. I didn't want to, he kept insisting, and I thought, oh, what the hell. Well that worked out well. Not.