Last night I dreamed

Last night I dreamed a lot. I can't remember much of my dreams but Sonny was definitely busy in my dreams doing God knows what.

I dreamed of a new house by the sea, and women I didn't know, moving in with me. Another dream where David Om committed suicide. I was devastated. It made me feel so upset I called him up, anxiety ridden, and he was fine.

Yesterday afternoon Sonny came over to Steve's cabin while we were watching Northern Exposure—Joel and Maggie finally become lovers. I was lying on the bed hiding my face in the crook of my arm, which was a mistake. I should have made eye contact, and now it's too late.

I left a large note of apology on the floor, when he was away at the store. Did I mention how the other night Sonny held up my letter saying, It's a novel? I've been reduced to fiction?

He stood at the door a couple of minutes. I assume he had softened. I was wrong. There was that thin wire in his voice as he paced Steve's cabin, like a bull, holding the bottle of apricot brandy, still in its bag. The full Moon in Taurus on Monday had me in charge, I had in my arsenal, the duality of Gemini, the twins, Scorpio's sting, and Sagittarius's arrow. We are crazed extremist overreacting, this time, gambling and always losing. Another bet for the house.

I had to flush Sonny out, find his limits, and see where he would break. I needed to find the shape of his anger, and to see how he would use it. I'm disappointed. 

Mind you, he hasn't told me a thing, just a brief message via Nathan. I hate it when he uses his son as the messenger, too cowardly to face me. Let's see how much he'll actually act out, understanding he's an extremist. Prepare for the worse, prepare to do a face-to-face.

Geraldine Gower says it's his dark side surfacing, his lowest common denominator. I called Pat, his girlfriend, a toxic waste site, and Geraldine said that's his lowest equivalent. She says I'm his higher power, but he chooses the negative side.

Last night, under cover of darkness, he returned the microwave to my bench, I heard rustling, and looked out the window, but could see nothing.

Nathan pulls me aside to tell me that he can no longer come to my art class, he can't come and visit me anymore, and I tell him the ban isn't permanent. As for the rest, Sonny will have to do some growing up. Nathan is devastated, and I'm armored. I was expecting retaliation, but I didn't think he'd actually do it. I gambled and lost big time.