10/30/1988 Lee says to do nothing, grieve for a month. Do nothing. Let him make the first move.
11/4/1988 Elizabeth Herron said to call him, find out how he’s doing. After all, it’s been three years that you’ve been together. The next day a letter and a poem and arrive in the post. It’s the accident that makes me call him. Elizabeth is right. He is grateful that I have open the doors.
11/6 Many moods, up and down. Real depression and despair. I sent him an apology card, saying I’m sorry for not saying I’d marry you not even once, even though it wasn’t right. I’m sorry I never whisked you away for a romantic weekend in Calistoga where we could soak our bones under the stars.
Yesterday, Sunday, I wrote a poem to my summer squash. After 11 revisions the poem devolved into a bitter piece about John’s inadequacies. Today I will send it to him along with some clippings from the Sunday paper from the horoscope and the grab bag. Like your cat has more muscles and its tail then you have in your head. I tell him 3% of all mammals or monogamous, 88% of all birds are monogamous. Pacific islanders kill off all their old people at the age of 40. Horoscope says you will end a bitter relationship. Mine says after 2 1/2 years you’re in the clear, it can only get better. And so it does.
No comments:
Post a Comment