Tristano & Son (Amie Street)

NB: A double album called "Jazz Memories" came up on Amie Street Music. For pennies a song, I downloaded a veritable candy store of music: 31 tracks from the gods of jazz. And I'm not even a big jazz fan. Celtic music is more my thing. 

 But "Jazz Memories" is an extraordinary compilation from the great jazz masters including jazz divas Billie Holiday, Sarah Vaughan and Ella Fitzgerald, with jazz legends "Satchmo" Louis Armstrong, Count Basie, Miles Davis, Thelonious Monk and Duke Ellington, to name a few. These are all clean tracks of major hits from major labels—not muddied side B recordings. What's not to like?

(You can go to Amie Street News to read the review in situ. …Alas, Amie Street is no more—bought up by Amazon.)

Seeing the name Lennie Tristano on the track, "Judy" (perhaps named for Lennie's vocalist Judy Niemack?) startled me. My grade school classmate Steve Tristano's mom was named Judy too so the name Tristano took me down memory lane and I found myself enthusiastically recommending it on Amie Street despite the fact that I know nothing about jazz—which landed me a guest blog spot on Amie Street! I'm pretty jazzed by the whole thing. (Pardon the pun on oh so many levels!)

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Back to the Tristano memory lane: since my grade school classmate Adair Daley (Adair Lara) is off somewhere writing about her childhood days growing up in Lagunitas, and it looks like I'll have to wait for the next high school reunion in 2010 to see her as her SF Chronicle email bounces—by then, I know beyond the shadow of a doubt, that even more of our gray cells will be severely challenged—I thought I'd better contribute a few Lagunitas memories of my own to the great sphere of blogdada art now while I can still remember most of it.

Steve, b. in 1952, died Nov. 21, 2015

In the late '50s, I went to Lagunitas School in the San Geronimo Valley out in the wilds of West Marin in Northern California with many interesting, if not downirght quirky characters—including Lennie Tristano's son, Steve.

During recess, after a jazz assembly performance by stride pianist Ralph Sutton (Pete's dad), we found ourselves alone in the classroom, and Steve went over to the piano to strut his stuff.

We weren't allowed to touch the old carved oak upright so this was pretty big deal. Steve opened the lid (we gasped at his audacity) and then he gave it an experimental trill. Soon Steve was honkeytonking tunes on that piano for us like "Tea for Two" and Scott Joplin's "Maple Leaf Rag," and he played the rockingist "Boogie Woogie" you ever heard.

HORSES RUNNING THROUGH THE STREETS OF ZENIA AT NIGHT

HORSES RUNNING THROUGH THE STREETS OF ZENIA AT NIGHT

"The post is the consolation of life."

            —Voltaire

PART I

The road into Hayfork winds along a narrow valley.

In the fields, a man stops, wipes his brow and waves as we pass.

The alders and poplars shake yellow sunlight out of the sky.

I still can't get used to the idea of snow.

You say it gets old fast.

The silver twigs and trunks etched against grey sky

are familiar like an ache out of childhood.

It is difficult to start a poem

or to find the beginning of anything.

An abandoned grape arbor shades the once-tiled floor

of what we called Lew's cabin--

I can still see you along the river, green as cat's eyes.

In photographs, we are all strangers frozen on film

but in the mirror we recognize ourselves.

If only we could get to the other side of the mirror.

* * * *

In Lagunitas, Father Connery died

and so did Marie Rexroth.

As kids we thought they'd be around forever.

Grandma used to point them out in church

and tell us of the hikes into Devil's Gulch.

In old age, he was a gruff, cantankerous poet.

He didn't remember me--

a thin child on a bony bay nag.

They say Marie never got over his death

even after all those years of separation

and his other wives. She did nothing,

just let the cancer grow,

and kept his poetry dusted, waiting.

I remember stopping by her house

but there was nowhere to tie the horse.

I wanted to say to her:

bless me Marie, for I have sinned.

I am a poet.

* * * *

The De Rutte boy opened his door one night

and the Zebra Killer pulled the trigger.

As an altar boy, he served me communion.

His youngest brother was convicted

of raping and drowning an old woman in her bathtub.

His mother testifies, "He was an angel.

Wouldn't hurt a fly." She said,

"That old commie woman had bags of dope

under her house. It was her fault."

We relived the details of Mark's death.

I have friends on both sides of the courtroom.

To this day, I awaken screaming and choking

with a black weight upon my chest

and I see the edges of ghosts

even when the light is on.

A friend blames the mirrors in my house

for letting all the ghosts out

and burns sage to banish them.

It works for a while. Then they're back.

My landlady asked me to tell her father-in-law

"We love you. You have another fine grandson.

You can rest now," the next time he comes

in the night to fix my leaky faucets.

* * * *

I dreamed my grandmother had fallen

and a weight had dropped.

Her lips were blue.

During the night, a slag of iron

pierced the sagging dewlap of her arm.

I held her in my arms, thus,

as she must have held her own children

and later, me. Hallowe'en she slipped quietly off

to the other side talking of those hedgehogs

loose in the livingroom again

leaving me to face this world alone.

At night she keeps telling me they've made a mistake.

She's not dead and shakes her white head, no—

when I tell her it's true. Is it an accident

both she and Joseph Campbell chose the same day to

travel the road to Tír nan-Óg?

I dream of calling her long distance

but I haven't got the number.

In the mountains I gathered stones for her.

Jasper, obsidian, quartz. I left her food, water,

and my hair so she'd find it. Genetic code.

* * * *

In the mail today, a photo of Hayfork

suspension bridge arrives holding up the sky.

I remember a boy who grappled the bellies of steelhead

resting on the banks of Papermill Creek.

Do you remember how the fish slipped up the ladders

with a motion almost quicker than the eye can see?

The fish no longer return.

* * * *

What is better: fucking on the river rocks

in the hot sun or minutely examining

the wanderings of dung beetles

for some revelatory cipher or glyph?

After photocopying Lew's book I wrote a poem

to all those whose hands that book had passed through.

All, part of our childhood.

* * * *

To Whom it May (or May Not) Concern:

This illegal version of On Out

was photocopied during work hours

on their machine when no one was looking.

I got the original from Geoff

who got it from Chuck Sutton

who was, at the time seeing Grover Sales

(to whom this book is signed—

For Grover—

"If you can't kill it,

shoot it."

Lew

8/19/66 )

who was seeing another woman

whose room mate was seeing Geoff's brother

(I think) and Geoff who is seeing me still

so I can't steal the original yet.

This thief hopes that Lew, wherever he may be

will appreciate the spirit in which this book

(and everyone else) was taken.

* * * *

PART II

"Each particular erases from the clarity of a general idea."

—Robert Hass, "Meditation at Lagunitas"

Definition in Ten Parts for DNA

*

You ask who I am.

At four a.m., I am not "I"

but a dream as I pour your coffee.

Write me a poem about the fine line

between earth and space

and I will dream a river of blood for you.

If you return before the apples drop

it will be soon for they are picking them now.

When I come north, we'll plant trees.

*

Without definition

I feel luminous at the sight of you.

Our bodies keep us honest

if nothing else will.

They've been reading our mail.

Nothing is confidential.

*

A tunnel distills the familiar world

into a thin passage. I feel a little lost.

Am I dreaming and the rain coming down?

*

I fed you pomegranates to bring you back.

But your yard is littered with cases of beer cans

and I have seen my aunt's face

after her husband beat her during a drunk.

*

The story goes, "When God loves a mortal woman, pfffft!

She goes up in smoke when he touches her," said the monk.

Winter is coming like a cat hunkered up on a porch rail.

I rock back on my heels, Indian fashion

and weather the storm.

*

Lew said, "Poetry out to be as vigorous

and useful as natural speech."

I have no words for the loaves of craziness,

my mother—likening it to love—fed me.

I learn the inside of every hospital ward is the same green.

No one wears shoes and pens are lethal weapons.

Ring of bone. Each suicide, an attempt at life.

*

Dioxyribonucleic Acid. DNA.

Taken one syllable at a time

it becomes a simple ladder.

Double helix. Specific pairing.

Suddenly it's no longer a game.

Then the long silence.

*

A psychiatrist tells me craziness is not inherited.

Red roe floats in the silt of Papermill Creek.

Life takes strange twists and turns

until we come back to what we are.

*

I spend another season alone

and watch the moon pull on my blood.

In a Garberville motel, Suzie Campbell and Paul Turner

likening it to love, made a pact and took dead aim.

Did they make a ritual as they loaded each bullet?

Warhol's soup can; target practice with grace notes.

*

What grey kinship of brain,

black squiggles, dunghill beetles,

cartouche of phaoahs? This writing.

Who measures the sanity of psychologists or poets?

One person in five is clinically insane.

We need something to take with us before we go.

* * * *

PART III

At Hoaglin-Zenia--a one room school I teach poetry.

The soccer ball becomes a metaphor for the moon.

At lunch we talk of incest—

the 8th grader who couldn't take any more

shot her mother after graduation.

Such a fine hair trigger.

The toy uzi at your house brings it back home--

living on the mountain in the middle of nowhere

where the smallest coin is a $50 bill.

But the same attraction pulls at us, your arms

like a massive bear hold me with the weight of the life

I might have lived. The children we might have had.

And you say the postmistress still reads the mail

from the front porch of the farmhouse-cum-post office/general store.

You say hang onto those negatives because Blanche and Hank

are going down for the count.

Tonight I thought of Eric Satie, the composer

who ate only what was white.

White sugar, cauliflower, wine.

Things are not what they seem.

This poem, familiar, out of childhood.

We hold each other up like mirrors

and send occasional postcards.

I am sleeping under the stories that are all true.

Not true. Only fiction.

The fact is, that we lie.

There are no streets in Zenia.

There is no town. I made it all up.

But when the bars close in Garberville and Alderpoint

you still call me from only phone booth for miles

with the best view of Longridge and along the Eel River,

xenoliths, strange rocks that grow nowhere else in the world,

seeth and twist. In fall, the blanket of snow tucks

itself right up to the glass walls.

The last toll station in California is mechanized.

No more listening in on the line.

And Lew, with a gun to his head

walked into the forest because there was no way left

to remind the planet of its gentleness.

Hayfork is miles from Zenia or Lagunitas

and we are a half a day's journey from anywhere.

* * * *

DATE? 84 85?
I rewrote this poem many times.
Only date I found was 11/16/1984

Other horse bits

Horse chestnuts

Sitting Deep

Helgar the Horrible
The Little Shits

There is so Much We Save from Childhood
AFTER THE SOLSTICE, MACHU PICCHU
WILD HORSES IN THE RAIN
LATE HOUSEWARMING POEM TO WM.T.WILEY