Thank you very much for sending me your Oct. 10 review clipping from the SSU Star—and the forewarning. Yes, I was appalled by the typos. Yeep! Who’s doing the proofreading, a gibbon?
Maybe you should explain to your editor there is such a thing as spellcheck; someone oughta learn to use this magic tool that will catch all the spelling errors and spacing problems in a matter of minutes.
With computers, there’s no longer any excuse for tyops. (I used to be A & E editor of the Sonoma County Stump—in those days we used IBM Selectric typewriters—no computers. It was all done by hand. Yuck!)
Names, however, are another matter. They require the eagle eye of a sharp copy editor. Hurely/Hurley Mianchi/Bianchi, Mark/Buck. . . . Ouch!
Hey, I guess I shouldn’t feel bad—they even misspelled your name!
As for the pull quote. . .well, it’s only half-wrong; I was a SSU student—once.
As for the pull quote. . .well, it’s only half-wrong; I was a SSU student—once.
Interesting variation on souvenir.
Yes, it’s better to pull a story, rather than let it run with half the information/pix. Unfortunately, your name is attached to the story, and if the editor butchers it, it’s useless as a tear sheet. And take it from me, the pesky botch jobs tend to reappear years later to embarrass you when you least expect it.
I’ve learned to be a perfectionist in print. Editors usually don’t like this tip: if you don’t like to see your stories massacred in print, get a printout of the proofed story; if you can’t get a final copy, make it a point to drop in during paste-up, and correct the flats yourself.
I always ask for final copy at the Independent—ever since a copy editor changed “. . . a herd of beeves” (plural for beef) into bees! Imagine a herd of bees roaming the plains! Bizarre.
Nota bene: I have only two minor suggestions for your writing; both are structural: tone and order of information, and getting the overview, format, or larger picture by which to hang your story from.
Nota bene: I have only two minor suggestions for your writing; both are structural: tone and order of information, and getting the overview, format, or larger picture by which to hang your story from.
Of course I don’t know what was cut from the original story, but in the final copy, there’s an unevenness in the writing style in which the four readers are portrayed. You get a good head of steam going when you go into a critical review format with Perez, Clausen, and Stromsness.
Great writing! Put your hot writing at the beginning to suck the audience in. Keep up the same tone. Avoid filler unless it’s a puff piece. If you’re not going to write indepth about someone, don’t put it at the beginning of the story (the stuff about me), toss it, bury it or it’ll kill the story! (Your editor should’ve caught this.)
As for the experienced poets’ lengthy stagetime vs. the brief exposure of the newcomers. . . it sounds like you came in late, and didn’t understand the format. Andy Clausen and I were the advertised featured readers. The others were merely part of Open Mike.
Slowly I’ve learned to get the overview, the larger picture first, then go for the angle/slant. Otherwise the story may contain buried leads and/or misinformation.
Slowly I’ve learned to get the overview, the larger picture first, then go for the angle/slant. Otherwise the story may contain buried leads and/or misinformation.
An extreme example: an article about an otherwise uneventful PTA meeting was buried in the back section of the paper. However, in the final paragraph, a woman pulled a pistol out of her handbag shot a rival. Shoulda been a Page One murder story, not listed under community affairs!
A further note on overview: one has to be ready to grasp the significance of the unexpected story. My editor thought it would be a slow week at the Paper, and I, a photographer who had little writing experience other than an occasional feature, was assigned to cover the coast for reporter Andrea Granahan who was on vacation.
Well, during routine calendar legwork, I uncovered a Page One story—the dredging of Bodega Bay—and here I was trying to squeeze my lead into the coastal gossip section.
Thank God Ron Sonenshine caught my mistake and steered me in the right direction. (This is just to say, I hope you don’t mind my gentle critiquing, and won’t take offense, as none is intended—the newspaper business is brutal.
One learns early not to get attached to the writing. . . I wouldn’t spend an hour writing to you if I didn’t think you had potential.) I’m so glad you enjoyed the reading enough to write about it! And I hope you’ll continue to write. It’s an addictive business.
Best of Luck to You!
Maureen Hurley
Best of Luck to You!
Maureen Hurley
