My hand washing song changes throughout the day. I’ve moved on from singing Happy Birthday to If I were a rich man—with a Flinstone finale: yabba daba do! I’ve washed my hands more times in the past week than I have in the past month. Or year. I wash them so much, they are dry and sore, and they ache. Hand lotion is no longer working. I’ve resorted to using Vaseline under my hand lotion. The upshot is my hands always smell of roses.
Dan Rather said: As I wash my hands for the umpteenth time and hum the opening verse of I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry, twice (I prefer it to happy birthday) my mind turns to the potent triumvirate of fear, anxiety, and risk. He’s peering into his 10th decade, so death is on his plate. And now we’re all in the same boat. Leveled by a virus.
Van Morrison’s hand washing song is Humpty Dumpty. Allegra Broughton said that she sings It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year. She goes all Christmas while another friend stumbles through a bar song, 99 bottles of beer on the wall. He says that once through is usually enough. You could get lost in the bathroom vortex and never come out again singing that song. Too bad there’s no chardonnay song. I fear we’re becoming a nation of fish.
Zana Darrow, who complains of dry skin and hangnails from overwashing, said: I discovered you could also just count to 20. When that gets old, 20-40. Or 20 odd numbers. Speaking of odd, I suggested that she try prime numbers next. She said, That would just make me mad. We’re all going a little bit mad these days. 97 bottles of beer on the wall... Is it 5pm yet?
added, revised 3/21
- NOTE: THIS POST ALONG WITH 12 OTHER POSTS WAS ERRONEOUSLY REMOVED BY BLOGGER FOR VIOLATING COMMUNITY STANDARDS ON 5/14/21. It was reinstated as a draft the next day. I am still pissed off.
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