Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Shoe de Gras Mouse Wars

Two mice down, and how many more ?? more to go. I think I need a puddytat. The glue traps work best. But then, you have to dispatch the critters to the great mouse beyond. The old fashioned wooden ones are best—all I managed to trap so far, was my index finger.

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I would love to hear the WHACK of a wooden trap right about now. I hear another mouse rustling. So far, no good. And Mom Mouse is on the loose too. You think she's noticed she's lost three of her pups? Snap! Snap! 4, 5...pups down ? How many more to go. Where's Mama?

There's probably one more pup plus mama to go. The midnight mouse was instantly dispatched to the great beyond.
<3 3="" all="" and="" any="" as="" asian="" at="" attract="" besides="" bird-mad="" cakes="" can.="" chocolate.="" clean="" d="" dark="" does="" drawer="" dry="" field="" go="" godiva="" goods="" hand.="" house="" i="" is="" letting="" list="" mice.="" mice="" my="" native="" nbsp="" neighbor="" ninja="" no.="" not="" on="" ouse="" out="" overfeeds="" p="" problem.="" re="" rice="" rodents.i="" rolls.="" s="" sandals="" seeds="" shortlist.="" so="" solve="" special="" that="" the="" them="" they="" tinfoil="" trap="" unlike="" war="" way="" whap="" whatever="" wiped=""><3 3="" all="" and="" any="" as="" asian="" at="" attract="" besides="" bird-mad="" cakes="" can.="" chocolate.="" clean="" d="" dark="" does="" drawer="" dry="" field="" go="" godiva="" goods="" hand.="" house="" i="" is="" letting="" list="" mice.="" mice="" my="" native="" nbsp="" neighbor="" ninja="" no.="" not="" on="" ouse="" out="" overfeeds="" p="" problem.="" re="" rice="" rodents.i="" rolls.="" s="" sandals="" seeds="" shortlist.="" so="" solve="" special="" that="" the="" them="" they="" tinfoil="" trap="" unlike="" war="" way="" whap="" whatever="" wiped="">
However, I forgot I'd also set a rat trap—they've been scampering over it for weeks. A whole lotta good it did. As I retrieved the mouse trap with its tiny cargo, the rat trap went off with a thunderous bang. I screamed, having nearly stuck my hand in the rat trap. It would have broken a finger or two.

Last mouselet was caught fair & square at 4:30 AM, but it also screamed. Then I couldn't go back to sleep. Still quite queasy but I also feel like the cat with her trophy mice. Each time I am reminded how we are both mammals. The little hunched shoulders, the delicate beauty of their forearms and paws.... Anthropomorphizing does not assuage memory.

Now, moles are good guys, unlike gophers. They eat bugs. I've had a few as pets. The cats had a hard time killing them off.

My resolve is steeled. My girders are loined. I went all soft on them in the past. Never again. But I do admire their beauty. Clearly, I'm not afraid of mice. It's the dispatching that makes me queasy. And, live release is just plain old stupid.

Neil's useless when it comes to mouse dispatch and disposal. He squeals like a girl. Backs off and leaves me to it. WHAP!

My flip flop did the coup de gras. If I catch it, I gotta kill it. No needless suffering. Very Zen. Whap. Ugh. I got Ma Mouse the other night, fair & square. XXed out eyes and all. Ah, quiet. No more scampering of little mouse feet. Shoe de gras!

A mama mouse has at least 6 babies.  Apparently the optimum average litter size is 10–12 pups. I think I'm closing in on it. Mama is in my sights.

What I now know: glue traps are only good once. Rat traps don't even snap on mice, but will viciously leap into the air when your hand trespasses in their airspace. Mice avoid the last place of mousiedeath‚ setting traps in the same spot is futile. You have to think like a mouse. Mouse mind meld. Baseboards are like runways. The obvious mouse chute spot never yields results. 
<3 3="" all="" and="" any="" as="" asian="" at="" attract="" besides="" bird-mad="" cakes="" can.="" chocolate.="" clean="" d="" dark="" does="" drawer="" dry="" field="" go="" godiva="" goods="" hand.="" house="" i="" is="" letting="" list="" mice.="" mice="" my="" native="" nbsp="" neighbor="" ninja="" no.="" not="" on="" ouse="" out="" overfeeds="" p="" problem.="" re="" rice="" rodents.i="" rolls.="" s="" sandals="" seeds="" shortlist.="" so="" solve="" special="" that="" the="" them="" they="" tinfoil="" trap="" unlike="" war="" way="" whap="" whatever="" wiped="">
<3 3="" all="" and="" any="" as="" asian="" at="" attract="" besides="" bird-mad="" cakes="" can.="" chocolate.="" clean="" d="" dark="" does="" drawer="" dry="" field="" go="" godiva="" goods="" hand.="" house="" i="" is="" letting="" list="" mice.="" mice="" my="" native="" nbsp="" neighbor="" ninja="" no.="" not="" on="" ouse="" out="" overfeeds="" p="" problem.="" re="" rice="" rodents.i="" rolls.="" s="" sandals="" seeds="" shortlist.="" so="" solve="" special="" that="" the="" them="" they="" tinfoil="" trap="" unlike="" war="" way="" whap="" whatever="" wiped="">Mouse poison is green mousecandy—they eat so little at a time that their metabolism counteracts the poison, and they become immune rather quickly—sort of like a scene from Arsenic and Old Lace. Rodent poison only works on rats. Or does it?  You have to maintain a kamakazi mindset. Any softening of the heart will derail your mission. Sleep will be fleeting. You will listen for that snap! snap! of traps even in dreams. Dances With Wolves mouse scenes will pervade your dreams.

In desperation you will begin to tear apart junk drawers and cabinets you haven't delved into for years. You will pull out all your saved paper bags, and all the plastic ones too. The special birthday and holiday bags you were saving for a rainy day, but can't find them when you need them, all trashed. In the farthest reaches of the cabinet that was once an icebox cooler, a box of forgotten china, props from a play. Ah, red willow teacups converted into mouse condos. 
<3 3="" all="" and="" any="" as="" asian="" at="" attract="" besides="" bird-mad="" cakes="" can.="" chocolate.="" clean="" d="" dark="" does="" drawer="" dry="" field="" go="" godiva="" goods="" hand.="" house="" i="" is="" letting="" list="" mice.="" mice="" my="" native="" nbsp="" neighbor="" ninja="" no.="" not="" on="" ouse="" out="" overfeeds="" p="" problem.="" re="" rice="" rodents.i="" rolls.="" s="" sandals="" seeds="" shortlist.="" so="" solve="" special="" that="" the="" them="" they="" tinfoil="" trap="" unlike="" war="" way="" whap="" whatever="" wiped="">
<3 3="" all="" and="" any="" as="" asian="" at="" attract="" besides="" bird-mad="" cakes="" can.="" chocolate.="" clean="" d="" dark="" does="" drawer="" dry="" field="" go="" godiva="" goods="" hand.="" house="" i="" is="" letting="" list="" mice.="" mice="" my="" native="" nbsp="" neighbor="" ninja="" no.="" not="" on="" ouse="" out="" overfeeds="" p="" problem.="" re="" rice="" rodents.i="" rolls.="" s="" sandals="" seeds="" shortlist.="" so="" solve="" special="" that="" the="" them="" they="" tinfoil="" trap="" unlike="" war="" way="" whap="" whatever="" wiped="">One mouse will make a run for it, right between your knees. You will shriek, leap up into the air like a startled cat, then, look for the mouse, only to find you've killed it by kneeling on it, barelegged, in bent supplication. Your kitchen resembles a war zone. But hey, pup number 6 is dead by bent knee. A carnal prayer for the dead mice becomes a mantra. 

<3 3="" all="" and="" any="" as="" asian="" at="" attract="" besides="" bird-mad="" cakes="" can.="" chocolate.="" clean="" d="" dark="" does="" drawer="" dry="" field="" go="" godiva="" goods="" hand.="" house="" i="" is="" letting="" list="" mice.="" mice="" my="" native="" nbsp="" neighbor="" ninja="" no.="" not="" on="" ouse="" out="" overfeeds="" p="" problem.="" re="" rice="" rodents.i="" rolls.="" s="" sandals="" seeds="" shortlist.="" so="" solve="" special="" that="" the="" them="" they="" tinfoil="" trap="" unlike="" war="" way="" whap="" whatever="" wiped="">WHAP!

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