AT UC BERKELEY
Young students surfing the standing waves
of buckled pavement
receive a momentary glimpses of knowledge.
of buckled pavement
receive a momentary glimpses of knowledge.
Wind teases the leaves toward the ground.
If I were young, instead of an infantile 46,
always late for classes, and apparently late for middle age…
always late for classes, and apparently late for middle age…
In less than a month I will be 47, nearer to 50.
Students mistake me for 30-something.
I guess I should be flattered,
though the accident left me a legacy
of gray strands of wisdom.
I guess I should be flattered,
though the accident left me a legacy
of gray strands of wisdom.
A negative badge in a youth culture.
A girl on a skateboard breaks the mold.
I would've done that if I had been born later.
Instead, I begin to notice the first signs:
this is how it begins; shifting over the drivers seat,
my stiffness slowing me down, imperceptibly at first,
soon it will increase, then escalate,
and though I shore up the ramparts of memory
with infrastructures of history, classic middle age
clashes with druidical sacrifice. I wonder, why bother
Instead, I begin to notice the first signs:
this is how it begins; shifting over the drivers seat,
my stiffness slowing me down, imperceptibly at first,
soon it will increase, then escalate,
and though I shore up the ramparts of memory
with infrastructures of history, classic middle age
clashes with druidical sacrifice. I wonder, why bother
when I care so little. Late at night I contemplate
the image of my father's 38 caliber pistol
when nothing else will sustain me, it's a cold comfort.
But doubting both my sincerity and my conviction,
it remains buried in the file cabinet
in a cabin far from home.
the image of my father's 38 caliber pistol
when nothing else will sustain me, it's a cold comfort.
But doubting both my sincerity and my conviction,
it remains buried in the file cabinet
in a cabin far from home.
11/99
added 9/17
Oakland, CA
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