Thursday, December 3, 2015

Donkey Wars


Donkeys will do what donkeys want, and bribery seldom works. Ask me how I know. My first mount was my friend's donkey named Joshua, a beast so mean, that no one else would ride her. She threw me off at every opportunity, she was very canny, she knew when the cinch was loose, and having no withers, she'd suddenly break into a stiff gallop, and then slam on the brakes. Head down, fetlocks together, pointing like a ballerina, and I went head first into a ditch, usually replete with a thistle patch. That donkey contemplated lots of shenanegans that required deliberate planning. One ruse  included a hogwire fence around a fruit tree. She broke my arm with that one, among other things. Once she mistook my finger for a carrot (or not), and kept grinding away at it, as I pounded on her head, it was hollow as a drum. I thought I'd never get it back. Joshua was a mean old donkey, it made me into a determined rider, trying to outfox her.

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