Saturday, June 22, 2013

Lemon Rustler


Agh! Full moon loonies are walking in broad daylight, I caught a woman from up the street walking up and down our private driveway, tweaking, stopping off to rustle lemons from our tree (with her own stepladder, no less). She's stealing the new lemons. Babies. Some from last year too. She hid the old ones in the shrubbery for later. Meyer Lemons don't keep once they're picked. We won't mention her equally crazed chihuahua who was having a pissing contest with the neighbor's cat. Then, she had a long screamfest with the neighbors who were rescuing their cat. All this while I'm trying to write. My knee is really cranky today. I barreled out the front door. All of us standing in the driveway ready for blood. I told her she needed to leave, she was trespassing. She called Ricky the manager white trash. It got worse from there. This may be Oakland, but don't mess with us, this is our hood. Police enroute. Welcome to hot summer in the city.


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